I definitely can’t say "I can’t believe OD is going to be gone!" or anything like that, because of course it’s going to be gone. This ship has been sinking for years. Bruce hasn’t cared in years. It’s been broken 80% of the time for years.
I also can’t exactly say I’ll miss it because I’m never here (I am here, though).
It kind of feels like when you lose a really good friend…the relationship was over. It had been almost over for years. You’ll always have the memories of it and the reasons you miss them. But the finality of it is hard.
This place is my childhood. So many of the people I love most in this world, I met on this site. Some when I was 13 years old (I started writing when I was 12, almost 13)! You guys have been through SO MUCH with me. I’ve opened up on here more than I ever have with any person, or probably all people combined. You’ve seen me through my angsty teenage years, where I described myself as being "stuck in a rut" for years and years. When all I wanted to do was grow up and have a baby. You’ve seen me through crushes, and my first love. First kisses and losing my virginity. I’ve posted photos and stories of my nieces and nephews (the oldest of whom is now 20) growing up. I’m the mother I am because of this site (without it I wouldn’t have found out about cloth diapers, questioned circumcision, learned about extended/full-term breastfeeding), I learned about natural childbirth on this site and that has led to me having a natural childbirth, being a birth doula, and hopefully someday soon being on the road to being a L&D nurse. You were all there for me when I lost my mom, and afterwards, when I wanted to lose myself. You were there for the ride when I left the religion I grew up in, the only life I have ever known. You were there for me when I finally, after years of wanting and wishing and waiting, became a mother. I’ve met two people in person that I knew from this site, and there are many others I would love to meet.
I love you all. I am friends with most of you on Facebook, but if we’re not friends, let me know so I can add you. Or come over to Prosebox! One way or another I want to keep in touch with all of you.
I suddenly find myself unable to finish my last entry here. I feel I have more to say but I can’t figure out exactly what it is. Just…thank you, to OD, but really, to all of my friends here, just for being there with me. Thanks for helping me grow up, because you all had an influence on the person I turned out (am turning out, still) to be.