Blocking Memories …

Have you ever blocked something out because it was too painful?  It was like you blocked it while it was happening (or right after) …

It could even be memories with friends … the good times you had with them were blocked because something traumatic happened during that time.  Same with any other loved one.  You even forget about the people you cared about … because the situations connected were too painful.

I’ve dealt with that …. and then some.

Or … then there’s worse.

You remember every single detail during the traumatic event … and during those moments, time goes slower and slower.  And if anyone else is tied to it (people that you care about it and who were also hurt) … the thought of how they were feeling hurts worse.  The thought that they were hurt and you couldn’t stop it is tormenting.
And it’s something you wish you COULD forget, but can’t.

This is me too.

 

I still have some deep wounds … and I know I need lot of healing.  All I can do is give it to Jesus.

Just some thoughts I am having at the moment 😔

 

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March 12, 2020

One of my recent entries I talked abt this same idea…how I feel like I’ve lost years of my life bc my upbringing was so traumatic. I have holes in my memory. The few things I remember that are good or beautiful, bring up the bad…so that the good isn’t worth it.

I’m sorry for your pain. I’m glad you’re here….that you haven’t given up…that you believe in something/one outside yourself. I hope things keep getting better for you all the time….

March 12, 2020

@thecriticsdarling me too 🙂 … and same for you.  I completely understand and I have similar situations.  I am hoping to put the pieces together and heal from it. 💜

March 12, 2020

Good for you, Amber, for blocking it out.  I too block evil thoughts or bad memories and try to put my focus on something lovely like a field of flowers or a very good memory.  Our thoughts are something most of us battle with.  It can be done.  You are strong and can do that even continually if it’s necessary.  Love you sweet niece.  Praying for you every day.