Today is such a relief. Caden responded well to my spams of love messages that I sent last night. I was talking to some other friends, and they told me I should try to get him back, and I did. Now here’s a little backstory about what happened:
Caden and I have technically been together for 2 years (read “My Breakup – Entry 1” for full details) and recently we’ve been experiencing some relationship problems. We’ve been fighting a lot, and with the constant over-thinking that both of us had, it caused strain in our relationship. We talked, and decided that if we were to ever break up, we would stay as friends with benefits. We would also act as if we were still dating, this would include still saying I love you, kissing, hugging, making out, s*x, emotional comfort, cuddles, etc. We would also ALWAYS have each other as our #1’s. Even if one of us got in a relationship after the breakup. Relating to that, if one of us got in a relationship we would cut off all physical ties. Anyway, having this conversation about what would happen if we broke up lifted a HUGE weight off of both of our shoulders. A main part of our overthinking was “what will we do if we break up?”. This answered that question. Having this conversation also made it seem like our relationship was already over, even though we hadn’t made the decision yet. We felt like best friends. We were laughing, playing fighting, doing things that best friends would do. So, later that night, we made the very tough decision of breaking up and doing what we talked about. It was hard though. I was up all night, unable to sleep, missing him terribly. So was he. We soon came to the conclusion that what we were experiencing after that conversation wasn’t a platonic feeling, or a feeling of our relationship ending, but the feeling we had when we first started dating. When we weren’t fighting, when everything was great. When we were best friends and possibly future life partners. When things were simpler. We realised that because that huge weight was lifted off of our shoulders, we were able to experience that again. If you look at Entry 2, you’ll see all of the texts I sent him last night. After I posted the entry, I texted him some more. My friends recommended I should try to get him back, so that I did. I told him I wasn’t ready to break up. That I want to try. I want to work things out. I want to be together. He said he felt the same. And, just like that, we are back together. Ready to conquer whatever problems are in store for us.