I used to not be happy on Fridays because I’m usually left alone for the weekend. But lately, I’ve been okay with being alone. I guess I’d rather feel alone when I’m actually alone, and not feel alone when my significant other is under the same roof as me. If that makes any sense? Almost every Friday the house was a battlefield of us cussing at one another, I just didn’t and still don’t understand why he wants to go to his dad’s every weekend. I know that sounds horrible of me, but we lived with his dad for the past 3-4 years. We literally just moved out a few months ago. Ever since we moved he’s been going back and staying there every weekend, give or take. All they do is stand outside and get drunk. Why can’t he do that here? I don’t drink but I’d love to talk…Am I not interesting enough? I used to question myself a lot, but lately not so much. I still question if he cheats on me while he’s there. I may never get the answer, or the answer is staring me blatantly in the face and I’m just to dumb to realize either he is or he isn’t. It doesn’t help that he completely ignores me while he’s there. I may get 1 phone call each day.
But… This weekend I’m fine with him being gone, not going to lie I do get paranoid that someone will break in while he’s gone but I have protection🔫 and my house alarm for that. If I don’t feel like cooking and cleaning I don’t have to. I’m always worrying about making sure I have a little makeup on and that I’m dressed appropriately, now I can throw on sweats and a t-shirt and wear no make-up if I want to. I know I can do those things either way, and I sometimes do regardless, but I want to look good for him.
I’m just going to enjoy this weekend to myself…First things first, I need to go to an appointment.
Fingers crossed, I’m going to try and dodge today’s rabbit hole.
-Anonymously Honest ❤