If Only Things Were Different….

I don’t trust myself I guess. I shouldn’t be putting myself through so much mental health hell. I’m trying though. Besides the past two days, I’ve been doing pretty good emotionally/mental health-wise.

I saw my therapist today and the session made some valid points. I’ve finally pinpointed the cause of what I’m going through mentally. It’s been staring me right in the face but I didn’t see it, and I think I didn’t see it because I didn’t want to see it. I was in denial. I was thinking to myself, where would I be if it weren’t for the circumstances that I’m in. That thought lead me to question everything.

In a way, I’ve just let go and gave up. I know I shouldn’t be putting up with half the stuff I do. I can’t picture myself getting out of the circumstances I’m in though. I just wish things were different, better. I want more than what I’m currently receiving. At one point I was receiving more, but at this point, I don’t think it’ll happen again no matter how badly I want it to. I feel like I’m wasting this life that I was given. I have to have been made for more than this, more than just waking up, sleeping, and wasting oxygen.  I want to be more. I want to feel worth more. No one should be made to feel that they just need to put up with something.

All I know is I wouldn’t wish my mental health or life for that matter, on anyone.

                                                                                                                             Till next time,

                                                                                                                               -Anonymously Honest (AH)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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December 7, 2019

Sigh, I know exactly what you mean when you talk about having been made for this. And just waking, sleeping, wasting oxygen. I feel that way often. I used to have big dreams for my life and I’ve given up on all of them. I’m glad you figured some things out in therapy. I hope you’re doing alright.

December 9, 2019

@heffay

Hey!

Thanks for the best wishes! It’s been a good minute since we talked last. I hope all is well with you.

-AH

 

December 10, 2019

@anonymouslyhonest Thank you, I’m doing alright. I hope you’re doing fine.

December 7, 2019

I wanted so bad to tell you something to make it better… but I can’t, because I’ve been there, and I know what it took to get out but I never knew the words to it 🙁    {{{HUGS}}}

December 7, 2019

I have been in the exact same place. I feel like that often now that my children are grown and I no longer work. I dont even date. Sometimes I feel like a zombie in life. Hang in there.

December 10, 2019

Hey!

I dont know what to say to make you feel better because I’ve been there and i wouldn’t wish my mental health upon anyone too. Just know you are worth something and never give up.

February 19, 2020

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