I can wake up one morning, sit up in bed and think “Okay, it’s a new day… Think positive. Be happy.” Then all of a sudden I have a flashback of a memory. One memory
leads pushes me down a dark painful rabbit hole. And I’m not even out of the bed yet, my day hasn’t even started. The further I fall the harder and longer it takes to get back up and out. And because of that I’m always right there at the edge of the opening, the heels of my feet on solid ground, stability. And my toes…they hang over the edge mid-air curling and craving for solid ground and can’t find it. I’ll be leaning back on my heels and I’ll be fine for some time until this nasty storm comes, the wind pushes me over, and there I am falling down this dark abyss, sometimes it feels like I’ve been falling for what seems like forever. And being in the dark for so long is gut-wrenching. I wouldn’t wish it upon my greatest enemy. I’ll be so far down into the hole that I can no longer see the light from above. I end up wishing I’d just hit the bottom to make all the pain and loneliness go away. But…I never do, I never hit the bottom of this black abyss that feels never-ending.
I always eventually get out. My hero I thank for that. My hero always saves me right before I feel like the black abyss really does have a bottom and that I’m about to hit it. I thank my hero and I’m grateful that I have one. This hero is the reason why I’m okay with standing on the edge of this rabbit hole. I don’t enjoy it of course, but my hero….makes the times that I am not falling so much better then the times that I am.
Unfortunately, I am always on edge and anxiously waiting for the next storm. But this hero I speak of??….is within myself…I’m still working on that though…My goal is to fully become that person, not just have a small part. But I’m not going to lie, I’ll continue to get pushed and fall then saved, it’ll happen over and over again and you know what?? That’s okay because I’m not ready to give up.
Everyone has that hero inside of themselves…not just me.
Just remember…It can’t rain and storm forever, the sun has to come out sometime.
*Anonymously Honest ❤