Ended up leaving later than I’d planned for the camera trip. My GPS app also took me on a very strange route that had me down a dirt road crossing a stream. The vehicle I took is not really designed for any kind of water crossings so that was a bit uncomfortable! Finally made it to the state park and took the wrong end of the trail which took me ~2 miles away from where I wanted to be. I made it to the right trail head and realized my trail running shoes need to be replaced as I was feeling every single rock I step on and since the entire trail is downhill on very large loose rocks I decided to turn around and go back to the car. Didn’t even take the new camera out of my backpack and spent the rest of the day beating myself up which culminated in ordering a pizza and fries. Ate all the fries but not all the pizza. My fasting blood sugar was in the pre-diabetic range this morning, which is an improvement, so I need to stop falling back on my old ways. Occasionally is fine but this is 2 times in as many weeks. I guess the bright side is that it hasn’t been everyday.
A lot of mental weight yesterday was due to dreading going back to work. I’m back to “living for the weekends” and I hate it. The 3 days off went by so quickly that I barely remember them and I absolutely hate that feeling. I don’t want to do all this anymore. I’m tired of the responsibility, the stress of everything. I don’t know what to do about any of this.