I have been around the OD woods since 1999 but my diary name had many variations as I bounced around from Portland to Bakersfield, to North Carolina, Georgia and Washington. For the time I was here before my husband was in the Army. As OD closed down in 2014 my youngest daughter was just 16 months old. We were on our way to North Carolina and now we're not there. We're back in Washington and possibly back on to Portland. I graduated with my Associate's and am finishing up my Bachelor's at Portland State University, the school my husband was going to when we met in 1998.

I'll stick around as long as OD sticks around. It's my place and this is where I'll be found.

Latest Entry

There is never enough time

November 8, 2018
I want more time to write. I often think to myself, especially when I see the payment for OD clear my bank, "damn I should really be writing about this" or "it'd feel so much better if I could take time to write." But right now I'm investing in me. My internships are going well.…
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Recent Entries

  • This week…
    July 26, 2018
    This week started out amazingly. I met with my career advisor at my school. I don't know if she is that positive and uplifting with everyone but holy shit, I walked away thinking I can do anything. She told me I'm a whole-package deal and that with my experience (what experience?...I never looked...
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  • Eggshells
    July 21, 2018
    I'm just jotting down thoughts in order to use this as something to expound upon further at a later time. Walking on eggshells has begun to open up wounds that cannot heal. Happiness is seeping away with each and every cut to the core. If home is where the heart is then what happens when…
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  • I’m rollin on sunshine! Woohoo!
    July 13, 2018
    So I got the internship. And it can be a long term thing. I can stay with this group for a long time. I love it. So I'm going to be a development intern for the Rose City Rollers. The #1 Roller Derby League in the country and #2 in the world. I get to…
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  • Possible Internship
    July 3, 2018
    I went out on a limb and emailed a local roller derby team for an internship that they had listed. I emailed the very last day it was open. You had to email some answers to questions they had on their ad and today I heard back and they want to meet. They do a…
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  • Momma wants a job
    July 2, 2018
    I know that I've still got a year of school left but damnit I want a job. I want a paycheck. I want to pay down debt. I want to start saving. I want to buy my girls a home. I want a vacation. I want a real vacation. I actually want a girls vacation.…
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  • The struggle is real
    June 29, 2018
    One of the joys of having a child with sensory processing disorder is the possibility that someone will call CPS on me. Next year the eye doctor wants to dilate Caroline's eyes to test the extent that she may be far sighted. In order to prepare her for this he gave me some ordinary eye…
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  • Need to write
    May 31, 2018
    I really need to sit down to write. I've been so busy and just haven't had the extra time. I hate unpacking. I'm listening to my kids sing an improv song...."I just scrub scrub scrub my stinky butt." I'm stopping Cymbalta and it's hell. But it's been 6 months and it's not helping at all.…
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  • Why can’t adults have tantrums?
    May 3, 2018
    Okay, first of all, I'm not talking about anything in the form of the middle of the grocery store just screaming to get one's way. I'm referring to a physical tantrum in order to exert the physical manifestation in our bodies from anger, frustration, stress, sadness, confusion, anxiety, etc. I'm ...
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  • Inside my compulsive mind.
    April 22, 2018
    It wasn't until I was in my 20s that I began to wonder WTF is wrong with my mind. I didn't share those things for awhile. We were in Vegas and my grandmother was standing next to our hotel window that was well over 15 floors in the air. In my mind was a scene…
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