Recent Entries

• 16/02/2021

  February 16, 2021

  Oh God this lockdown is getting too long now. I walked into town earlier to buy e-liquid and was tempted to go and wander around coop and check out the hummus selection. This is the saddest my life has ever been. Although I'm feeling half positive. I'd been dealing with my terrible mental health ...

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• 07/02/2021

  February 7, 2021

  So I've started feeling flat again over the course of the last hour or so, I used to be able to fill the hours in with netflix easily. I hated the fact that I did that and so I feel as though now I've kinda subconsciously developed an adversion to it which I didn't have…

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• 05/02/2021

  February 5, 2021

  My sister came over last night. I was a little nervous beforehand but not too much. I considered not drinking, because she was driving and therefore I figured she wouldn't be drinking, and I had drank the night before, Wed night and so was feeling a little ropey already. But then I decided to do&...

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• 30/01/2021

  January 30, 2021

  I always used to say to N, turns your tears to flames. I used to think it was better being angry than being sad, or not that it was necessarily better just that she seemed to struggle more than I did. At the moment i'm in a serious rut, but I was just thinking, a…

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• 29/01/2021

  January 30, 2021

  Friday. It's funny how things change, issues change. At the moment i"m learning how to not over-catastophise things which happen. If I have had a few days where things haven't gone how I would have wanted them to, I don't over blow it or make a big deal, instead I focus above it and around…

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• 11/01/2021

  January 11, 2021

  So... good times, weird times but also good. I've been freaking out a little bit at the moment about the fact that I'm wanting to drink more than previously, or I"m thinking about alcohol more than I have done previously in the sense that before last year I"d pretty much drink when I wanted to,&h...

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• 17/11/2020

  November 17, 2020

  I'm so sick of this rambling to nowhere. I woke up late, and was pissed off but got straight in front of the laptop and actually did about two hours good work. I'm now trying to work out the best way to approach the rest of the evening, so that I can get up tomorrow.…

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• 16/11/2020

  November 16, 2020

  I just wrote a long self-exploratory entry which had a lot in it. OD deleted it. FFS

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• 04/11/2020

  November 4, 2020

  Today I give thanks. I give thanks for the beautiful sun which has come out today and meant that walking back from the surgery was really nice. I give thanks that S was able to take my blood which means I don't need to travel over to East Surrey. I give thanks for P who…

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