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Peace

May 22, 2020
The windows are open and I’m listening to the tree frogs singing in the marsh. Sometimes I wish I had made different choices, but then I wouldn’t be here. Tonight reminds me of Charleston, SC. Reminds me of a different time with different wishes and hopes and dreams. I’m learning to love the life...
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Recent Entries

  • It was a good day
    May 20, 2020
    It’s different writing here now. I don’t know how much is because I’ve grown up, or just the feel has changed. Today was a good day. Quinn came to snuggle in bed at 0615 just as her meds were wearing off. Stupid first molar. So, snuggles for me 😍. Then breakfast, bath, and outside. We…
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  • Happy Mother’s Day
    May 10, 2020
    This day had been so difficult for Pam and I. It was hard to talk to people about it. People, now, are much more understanding. I only started to realize I wasn’t alone just before Denise died. Becoming a mother healed a big part of what made this day painful. I used to be terrified…
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  • And….now sleep
    May 1, 2020
    The baby isn’t sleeping well :/ On the upside, finished the fifth book in the series I’ve been reading and can start something else tomorrow now..bed
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  • Management of Anxiety
    April 25, 2020
    I’m anxious. I’m an inside pet and don’t like people much outside of my job and close friends. So this should be heaven right? Only I have a 2 year old. Today was....trying. Chewing on electrical cords, dumping cups of lemonade over her head Not 10 minute after she finished her bath, and trying t...
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  • Decisions pending
    April 23, 2020
    Work has finally called asking for days and times I can come back in for training. There are so many questions. Are we taking Covid patients? Are we testing everyone that comes in? Are all the staff members getting tested? I want to go back to work. I understand the risks. I don’t don’t know…
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  • My Parents Are Idiots
    April 20, 2020
    Nothing’s worse then growing up and realizing your parents are human, and aren’t, in fact, superheroes. Dad supported and defended his friends that participated in the demonstrations at the capitol this week. Mom, who fucking works in health care and should know better, thinks that we should end ...
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  • It hurts tonight
    April 10, 2020
    Two nights ago, I surprisingly laughed out loud and told James I was happy. I was surprised that I was happy. It was quiet, just before the storm rolled in. You could hear the tree frogs, the sun was setting, Quinn was happily playing in the other room as I cleaned up dinner and James…
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  • Just my luck
    April 1, 2020
    First day at new job on Monday: coughed on by elderly patient that was in the hospital for a laceration yesterday: patient found positive for covid 19 today. Quinn’s birthday: I spike a temp and sore throat, get swabbed. never thought I’d pray to have the flu
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  • Stressed
    March 30, 2020
    Back to work. And what a day! Missed working. Felt good to go take care and talk to other adults. It was good to have Quinn run at me screaming “ Mommom!!” Back tomorrow for more orientation. Hopefully it goes a little smoother patient wise in regards to Covid.
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