Recent Entries

• Thanksgiving

  November 26, 2022

  My husband isn't generally big on holidays, but he's obsessed with Thanksgiving.  He asked me for weeks what we were doing for Thanksgiving, and I told him I didn't know, I hadn't thought about it. So one night while we were out running errands, he says we're going to his dads house to figure out...

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• I have a husband

  November 26, 2022

  Being married is still really weird for me.  It's something I swore I would never do again. Saying the words ''my husband'' still seems really foreign. I think it's just the  words though.  We've lived together 4 years now, and have mostly had a very relaxed relationship. We had a conversation re...

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• Who cares if one more light goes out? I do.

  August 13, 2021

  I had a best friend once, the male version of me.  He came into my life at a very trying time for me, and he made me laugh so hard my sides hurt. And then we crossed that line one night.  Lonely, bored, deprived.  We decided our friendship was strong enough to handle all of…

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• Drugs and other stuff

  December 18, 2020

  I was just thinking about a conversation I had with my daughters best friend almost three years ago.  My eldest daughter is 24 and her best friend had been doing meth and heroin for two years at that point. She had always been a funny, cute, level headed girl that I watched grow up from…

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• and here we are months later….

  December 18, 2020

  So it's been a long time since I updated, but I guess life does that sometimes. My son is doing amazing.  He's got a state job, a beautiful boyfriend, and is concerned with things like repairing his credit. I realize that a relapse can happen any time, anywhere, but he's been on the right track&h...

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• Me

  March 26, 2020

  So what happens to a mother who has to throw her son in jail to save him? She breaks. And I did.  I cried every single day he was gone. I'm not a crier. My patients loving refer to me as ''The Warden''. I was raised by tough women, and had to find strength as…

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• Starting over

  March 26, 2020

  He was released from jail, and came home on January 3rd.  I felt like I could breathe again, but at the same time I was extremely anxious. I was so afraid he would end up running into, getting a call, or getting a text from the person he'd been dating, and then we'd be right…

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• Gone

  March 26, 2020

  My son disappeared.  He was no longer answering calls or messages from any of us. I knew that it was bad when he was a no call no show at work.  He absolutely loved that job, and for him to just not show up indicated that this problem was way bigger than I originally thought.…

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• December

  March 26, 2020

  The first week of December, my son started acting strange.  His moods were all over the place.  Very emotional.  High anxiety. Low lows. I expected he was using again, but I didn't want to believe it. He started acting even stranger.  Running down the street like someone was chasing him. Climbing...

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