Recent Entries

• Ugly

  August 22, 2018

  The word Ugly. It looks misshapen and sounds guttural. I think DB is already moved past the phase of "feeling guilty" and moved onto "ugly revenge". Revenge for what exactly? Because I am fucking heart broken and mean to him? Because I refuse to give in to any of his demands (that I pay his…

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• A Letter

  August 20, 2018

  My mom has been visiting and keeping me busy. After she left, the older kids were with their dad and I waited for Jr to be dropped off from his dad, I wrote a letter to DB.   DB, The first time you decided to text another girl, or flirt with, call, whatever the situation…

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• Choices

  August 15, 2018

  I had a rough night last night. None of my usual distractions were all that distracting. My thoughts were drowning in self pity and demanding answers that Douche Bag isn't capable of answering. I found one of the women's profiles. I mean... I have seen several of the profiles but there was one in...

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• Petty Bitch

  August 13, 2018

  I was doing okay yesterday until Douche Bag dropped the baby off. It's like seeing him steam rolls everything all over again. After he left I began my petty little texting games again. I guess I am giving myself a pass on adult behavior for awhile. I am all pregnant raging hormones and yes, it&he...

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• The Ex Boyfriend

  August 12, 2018

  I tried sitting down and writing and entry about current happening with Douche Bag but the words just didn't want to come out. Instead, my mind is occupied with thoughts of my ex boyfriend. There are three main characters to my life story: The ex husband, whom I was with from 16 to 26, the…

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• Liar, Liar

  August 10, 2018

  After Brittany had ended things he still was contacting her about once a month. She would sometimes reply back. Sometimes she wouldn't. The last contact being only a few weeks before. I wanted an explanation. He said we were fighting a lot and that it sort of just happened. He developed feelings ...

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• Foundations, deux

  August 10, 2018

  After our son was born, my doting boyfriend turned into something else. It's hard to describe now, 2 year later, what I mean, but I will try. I explained to him before that this is not my first rodeo and what to expect. New moms are exhausted, hormones are crazy, our bodies are healing, we…

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• The crappy foundation from which it was built

  August 8, 2018

  After dating seriously for about 6 months, we stopped using protection. We had been seeing each other a total of 15 months now and if we were going to have a child/children, I didn't have forever to decide. I was in my mid 30s, and didn't want to have a child after 40. At this…

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• Unwelcome

  August 7, 2018

  I had a dream about my ex-boyfriend last night. (not Douche Bag, the guy before him). I don't recall all the details. I felt sad. He comforted me. There was sex. I'm leaving out the part that seeing him, remembering him, dragging up old shit. Butterflies and heartbreak and longing. I loved him in...

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