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Choices

August 15, 2018
I had a rough night last night. None of my usual distractions were all that distracting. My thoughts were drowning in self pity and demanding answers that Douche Bag isn't capable of answering. I found one of the women's profiles. I mean... I have seen several of the profiles but there was one in...
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Recent Entries

  • Petty Bitch
    August 13, 2018
    I was doing okay yesterday until Douche Bag dropped the baby off. It's like seeing him steam rolls everything all over again. After he left I began my petty little texting games again. I guess I am giving myself a pass on adult behavior for awhile. I am all pregnant raging hormones and yes, it&he...
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  • The Ex Boyfriend
    August 12, 2018
    I tried sitting down and writing and entry about current happening with Douche Bag but the words just didn't want to come out. Instead, my mind is occupied with thoughts of my ex boyfriend. There are three main characters to my life story: The ex husband, whom I was with from 16 to 26, the…
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  • Liar, Liar
    August 10, 2018
    After Brittany had ended things he still was contacting her about once a month. She would sometimes reply back. Sometimes she wouldn't. The last contact being only a few weeks before. I wanted an explanation. He said we were fighting a lot and that it sort of just happened. He developed feelings ...
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  • Foundations, deux
    August 10, 2018
    After our son was born, my doting boyfriend turned into something else. It's hard to describe now, 2 year later, what I mean, but I will try. I explained to him before that this is not my first rodeo and what to expect. New moms are exhausted, hormones are crazy, our bodies are healing, we…
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  • The crappy foundation from which it was built
    August 8, 2018
    After dating seriously for about 6 months, we stopped using protection. We had been seeing each other a total of 15 months now and if we were going to have a child/children, I didn't have forever to decide. I was in my mid 30s, and didn't want to have a child after 40. At this…
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  • Unwelcome
    August 7, 2018
    I had a dream about my ex-boyfriend last night. (not Douche Bag, the guy before him). I don't recall all the details. I felt sad. He comforted me. There was sex. I'm leaving out the part that seeing him, remembering him, dragging up old shit. Butterflies and heartbreak and longing. I loved him in...
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  • I didn’t want anyone thinking I still care
    August 6, 2018
    Yesterday I saw the ex after about 24 hours of no contact. I think that is the longest no contact we have had since we started dating. Even when we were "casually dating" and still seeing other people, we usually checked in frequently with each other. It took a long time for us to decide…
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  • Starting Over
    August 5, 2018
    It's been 28 days since I discovered that my other half (here by known as Douche Bag) had an affair. Later I would learn it was not one affair and as the truth begins to trickle in, I learn that it has been happening for nearly 18 months. How the fuck does someone hide multiple…
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