Five years ago this site was taken down and my diary with it. All of those years of memories were gone in an instant. I was devastated. Heartbroken. My grief was so heavy that I could not bring myself to start writing again. Now the site is back online and my diary has been miraculously recovered!!! What I thought was lost forever has now returned to me. I can finally start to write again. :)

Latest Entry

Jake is gone

December 6, 2023
So much has happened since my last entry. Fast forward to March 3rd. Long story short, things didn’t work out with Marc. When he visited me, he was affectionate, playful, fun. We laughed together and it was easy-going. For the next month we talked on the phone and FaceTimed every day. he invited ...
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Recent Entries

  • Another level of self love
    July 21, 2022
    I hold myself to very high standards and when I make a mistake or slip up I am extremely hard on myself. I start to think negatively. “Ugh. Why did you do that? You should know better. Now people are going to think you’re not good at your job. How could you be so stupid?!”…
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  • Things I need to work on
    July 6, 2022
    Being more honest with myself More self love Forgiving myself Meditation Being unapologetically me Worrying less Trusting in my path
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  • Ice cream
    July 3, 2022
    Today I made ice cream for the first time. I had always wanted to make it and was even given a beautiful ice cream maker for Christmas, but for some reason I just never got around to doing it. Now that I’ve been taking a hiatus from social media, I have time to focus on…
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  • Bird day
    July 2, 2022
    I had a bird day today. You’ll understand the pun after reading this. I woke up this morning feeling refreshed. I’ve been getting to bed earlier and feeling better for it. My plan was to catch the 12:20 ferry over to Seattle to have lunch and go thrift shopping with Ali ( one of my…
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  • My Jakey Boy
    June 30, 2022
    My sweet tabby boy Jakey is 18 and slowly disappearing in front of me. He keeps losing weight and I’ve spent thousands on x-rays, blood tests, and ultra sounds only to find nothing. He was diagnosed with hypoglycemia a while ago and the medication was supposed to stop the weight loss, but it hasn...
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  • How I feel
    June 22, 2022
    Sad Sad Sad I was excited and hopeful about a man I had connected with through texting, only to find that I didn’t have the same connection with him in person. Instead of following my gut I pushed to create a connection. I tried because I really liked him and wanted there to be one so…
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  • People hate rules
    May 25, 2022
    From the start of the pandemic it was hell at work making people wear masks onboard the plane. Every day it was a battle. Every day I was dealing with eye rolls, people yelling at me, having to kick people off, etc…. I mean it was ridiculous. And those who did  have a mask on…
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  • Every Part Of Me
    May 14, 2022
    Last night I started really thinking about how far I’ve come as a person. I mean all the way from childhood. I was a strange child. Half the time I wasn’t in my body. I would fall off chairs for no reason, not recollect what was going on around me. One time I went over…
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  • Let Go and Let God
    May 12, 2022
    I saw this quote today on Instagram. It was a pleasant reminder to not worry and to trust that what is meant for me will come and what is not will not, what will be, will be, and that what happens TO me happens FOR me. There is always a silver lining. Even if I cannot…
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