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fears that are real

March 13, 2019
Everything that I knew that would happen when My mother died, just happened. However, she is still alive and at the very least perhaps this helps me It helps me toward the end more than I thought it would. I have always known that my step sister would cut me out, that the only family…
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    March 7, 2019
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  • 40
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    2am is near. I think about my best friend from high school - Jess I have written about her. I think of her almost every day.  26 so full of life so amazing.... I miss her so much... she said this to me a few times, but I actually remember the first time. We would of be…
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  • Reality or Pleasure
    January 12, 2019
    [embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbFOEplKA60[/embed]   How do you go about changing your life? I have dreams about who I think I want to be. While half of me wants to be this new person, the other half of me thinks why?  Will it be worth it.. do you think that that it will better, or e...
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  • I need to change
    January 5, 2019
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  • Pity Party
    January 1, 2019
    I loathe this time of year. Xmas - New Year  It reminds me of another year has gone by where I have remained frozen During 2008 my life hit some major dark spots.  and I can't seem to move on. I got some help from a friend to get through this period over the last…
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  • Hold on
    July 29, 2018
    Song: Hold on by Pearl Jam https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egoftWGlCAA I spend my life repeating myself. I know I do this. I know I am trapped. I guess some days I feel better than others.   I try internet dating/apps, I talk with a nice guy, we flirt but then this thing inside of me. I know its ...
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  • Unloveable
    May 20, 2018
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  • Switch
    May 12, 2018
    Song: Charlie Puth - We don't talk anymore https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AtDnEC4zak 10 years ago, I became this broken person I have been trying to not be this person, but its like I am stuck.  Ever my Diary pages a filled every year about things I want to do, be, have.. yet WHY why can't I . ...
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  • BACK OD!! and so happy
    April 29, 2018
    Song Freedom! - Pitch Perfect   I am so glad to back here.  I missed this place.   Its been a while OD.  But while some things have changed so much is still the same. I look forward to sharing again! Welcome to my thoughts people! I like to to have music to them.. so you know…
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