Recent Entries

• [Interlude]

  April 27, 2023

  This time of year I am always absolutely suffocating on old end of winter air and compulsively open windows until I'm completely chilled just to get living air in my lungs for a few hours

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• I Bet My Hands/I Can Stay Here

  April 24, 2023

  Whenever <less and less, anymore> I get stressed out enough for long enough that a wart begins to try to grow up through the confusion, the constant discomfort is a reminder, over and over and over, that the fungus is wrapped as deep and thoroughly through my bones as Bea is. I have to carr...

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• [Interlude]

  April 9, 2023

  I said I was grieving for having dared to have so much hope and he told me to grow up

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• Making Contact/Gets Harder/As the Silence/Grows Longer

  March 30, 2023

  Yesterday evening, Mister .                                              ;I just don't like the way the kids treat you. The way they talk to you. Like you're just at their service. They walk all over you .   …

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• It’s a Dream/But There’s a Real World/Waiting

  March 28, 2023

  I dream regularly of emergency lights<overdue for an oil change> popping on in my car and logistical impossibilities only I am asked to solve and trying to get somewhere before it's too late lately. Packing while people actively undo my work and deadlines sprint at me. Having to calmly argu...

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• And You Haven’t Moved An Inch/Such That I Have Not Known

  March 21, 2023

  When I tell you I'm doing well you don't have any choice but to believe me, now do you. 'With your hand  In my hand So still and  Discrete' - Hozier

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• She Says/All She Needs is/Therapy

  March 12, 2023

  The big dog is taking me way too seriously as I wail to Mister that I don't want to rest and be taken care of and have my period I WANT TO BE PLOWED LIKE A PARKING LOT so good you find a hidden car everyone forgot about three months later! He cannot parse the difference between…

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• [Interlude]

  March 9, 2023

  One of the reasons I have never left this region is because of that thing where sometimes you walk out the door and do a quick double-scan of the woods because something about them is much sketchier than usual.

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• Said ;Don’t They Look at Peace/ Sometimes I Wish That Was Me;

  March 6, 2023

  Today I loudly, bitterly miss getting <just extraordinarily, raucously>drunk about my feelings. Plugged to the couch under a dog and a blanket with purple lips, glass in hand, noisily face leaking over Bones. I know it is a privileged, protected impulse to stop keeping up with events; but I...

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