Gin. 23. Returning after 6 years. Looking to remember who I was, in all these memories lost and repressed.

Latest Entry

My diary

April 11, 2018
Its been so long since I would write absolutely everything. I used to write every thought. Now I write 1 out of 20 thoughts. Is it me getting older and wiser and more mature? I don't really know. But what I do know is that I almost want to write to my diary as if…
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Recent Entries

  • Why do all my coworkers stare?
    April 11, 2018
    Just started at popeyes.  We're training before it opens. It's a new store. There are 5 boys total. I am the oldest by a couple years. The second oldest is maybe 19-20?  I am 23. We work with over 20 different women. I hear whispers. I hear you talk. I hear all the mentions that…
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  • Such vivid dreams
    April 10, 2018
    my dreams lately are scary vivid. But.. I wake up desiring to write a book each time I sleep now.. but I have 10 minutes to get ready for work. Fuck.. That dream was too intense..
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  • Lost in the void
    April 9, 2018
    Lost in time, surrounded by blackness. The occasional flicker of my tv in the background. My head won't clear. The more I think, the darker everything becomes, the deeper I fall, and the more I suffocate. I've been reading my older entries, and it's definately affecting me. The differences betwee...
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  • The fuck up returns
    April 8, 2018
    Its been a while. Quite a while. One day I plan to read my entries all over again. I just need to prepare. My whole teenage life is just a blur. And I know it was filled with pain and a very fucked up me fucking up while fucked up on any drug I could.…
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  • Hold out hope for the cycle to end
    December 2, 2013
     Hanging by a moment of time trapped inside m vile mid i sing out to the stars but no one will help as I drown in this feeling.  My past few days have been. Unusual. Fueled by drugs and hate. I'm leaving very soon. 2 weeks. Big bye gin. 2 more fucken weeks. I have…
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  • A pretty calm day today
    November 26, 2013
    Dancing in te moonlight I saw your face. The way you caressed me before that kiss. Then an alarm wake me up. Popped 5 norco, then pretty much sat around doing a lot of thinking and watched anime. Found a good one. Beck Mongolian Chop Squad. Filled out a job application or two, an made…
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  • I pop these pills like fucking candy…
    November 26, 2013
     Another day another incident I guess. I've been really falling into opiates and painkillers recenty. So today I got a script off my friend and about 40 norco. I'm about 6 pills in then I decide to get drunk. Wasn't a good idea. But even with a few bowl packs I couldn't really feel the…
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  • A crow lifts his wings and flies away
    November 25, 2013
     Another day another incident. I almost died from od. I swallowed a whole 50 mcg/hr fentanyl. Half of that is more than enough for a death. It was an accident thigh. I couldn't feel my face so when I swallowed the patch went down with it. After a whole night of hell I'm finally good.…
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  • A spiral towards death
    November 24, 2013
     Heroine lullaby sing me to sleep cocaine maelstrom open my eyes im dancing with death.  The opiates drag me down, while the painkillers suffocate me lets dance my drugged dance to death      
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