So I think that I should know.

Latest Entry

Well.

August 2, 2022
I’m unsure of whose life I am leading. I used to feel happy with teaching and there’s nothing I want to do less than go back in a few weeks to teaching. Mostly because I have two kids that I would rather be with. They may drive me mentally insane but I love them and…
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Recent Entries

  • Family
    May 17, 2022
    My dad’s new diagnosis with dementia is more severe and a steady decline. The doctor would like him to make a plan to stop driving. These are all not new things, as I knew he was having memory issues in like 2016. He was never warm, very kind or open to me, more just sarcastic,…
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  • Emotional Damage
    March 1, 2022
    Wow.   The world. First, I used to write these entries after I updated my status on ICQ. This diary has seen me through:   9/11 - sophomore year of high school. A recession where my dad was a mortgage broker and literally didn’t pay his taxes and his business took a hit and I…
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  • It Takes a Village
    January 25, 2022
    That's a dumb phrase. Because back in the day people were in villages and had help raising babies. I am unsure if I'm weak minded or exhausted. Sleep deprived. Hating where I live...   Maybe just parenting two kids under three in a pandemic that has gone on since March 2020.   Maybe tha...
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  • It’s on me
    November 28, 2021
    Aside from the fact we are not going to Idaho due to my husband finding it inconvenient to move, (which is a temporary inconvenience to solve a long term issue) there are other things wrong with where we live. And Dustin hates his job. I got a virtual teaching job so I can bring in…
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  • Burden
    October 21, 2021
    Today I tired to go home so that Dustin would see it was good that we lived so close to family. A random trip home to surprise and have people see the kids. We packed up and had everything in the car and I talked to my dad, which was a bad idea because he…
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  • Jasper
    October 21, 2021
    I realized I never updated. It wasn’t something I wanted to say. My favorite cat died. He had something wrong with him in his stomach. But I feel like…if I didn’t have kids, maybe I would’ve caught it sooner. I tried taking him in like twice and they never caught it here. Jasper, I don’t…
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  • Priorities
    October 21, 2021
    I realize that everyone has their own life. I just feel I initiate a lot of things with my family or others and make an effort to check on my sister or others and it’s really for nothing. We moved closer to home to try and support our family, which interestingly enough, Dustin’s parents have…
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  • Fixing a Fault
    October 14, 2021
    Children have taught me that my relationship with my family is and was always toxic. Children have taught me I have unresolved emotional issues about my family and each time Atlas has a toddler outburst, it shows me I wasn't allowed to feel. Children have taught me that being gentle gets better r...
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  • Dear V
    June 9, 2021
    I should update that I have two children. On May 26th, Vera was born. I had a few complications after, but survived. I've come to the conclusion that childbirth wasn't for me and I would've died the first time and wouldn't have ever made it to the second time... It is what it is. I…
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