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I'm trying to regrain some stability in my life and I'm hoping this will help again.

Latest Entry

Entry 797: Seen & Heard.

October 13, 2021
I need to remember these words. I am seen. I am heard. I am valid. Its easy to forget those three statements especially when you don't feel heard or seen, which in turn does not make you feel valid at all.  My experiences lead people to come to me for advice. I can only do…
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Recent Entries

  • Entry 796:
    October 7, 2021
    I'm tired. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. I'm just so tired. I'm full of cold so that doesn't help. I've not slept well in... years. I have suffered with insomnia since at least 14/15. I needed help then, not to be ignored and given ultimatums. I have been the doctors. I have had medication, ...
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  • Entry 795: A Forest Of Trees
    October 7, 2021
    The lumberjack won't remember every tree it cuts down, but that doesn't mean the tree didn't die.  I realise now, why, when I asked my parents about any trauma in my past, they laughed and said there was none.  It is because they do not remember every tree they cut down.  They are the lumberjack,...
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  • Entry 794: A Bad Day
    October 6, 2021
    In all honesty, it hasn't been a bad day. Not really. I mean, okay, I've had worse.  I mean to say, I'm not allowed to have a bad day if my wife is having a bad day because her day is worse. I'm not allowed to have a bad day if my wife is having…
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  • Entry 793: Parent Complaints
    October 5, 2021
    I've written about my dad before. Not much, not often, but I have written about him before. He was not a nice man when I was growing up. I have no scars on my body from him, but he was not a nice man.  I'm worried that I will be like him when I have…
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  • Entry 792: Unnamed
    October 5, 2021
    Work seems better today. No more emails, but I still don't want to be here. Yesterday my wife and I went out with some friends. They've just gotten married and part of the present we got them was 99 date ideas. All colour coded in tiny little message bottles, wrapped up like scrolls.  The first o...
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  • Entry 791: Work is Work is Work
    October 4, 2021
    Work is work.  I checked my emails and there are two that stand out. One from my manager to all staff stating what we know is true. That the building I currently am security for will be closing in the next few years. The owners aren't continuing with the lease or something so the company…
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  • Entry 790: It Was Not My Fault.
    September 28, 2021
    It's raining currently. It has been for at least a day now.  My mum messaged me before about the thunder and lightening. I said that it wasn't where I was but my wife had messaged saying it was at home. I had a look on the camera by our front door and saw the flash…
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  • Entry 789: Finding My Ground With My Parents
    September 28, 2021
    I think rereading my old entries was a good thing. I think writing new entries is a good thing. I think I'm able to put my mind a bit more in order knowing what's going on. My dad was not a nice person when I was growing up. He's not much better now if I'm being honest.…
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  • Entry 788: Beginning To Come To Terms
    September 26, 2021
    I am a long way off understanding everything and being okay with it all. There is a memory in my head that I'm pretty sure is an actual memory. Although it's not complete.  I can't remember the start of the memory. I can't remember the end of the memory. I remember I was in my…
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