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what i ate and purged

March 21, 2021
I ate pizza, these wonderful raspberry cookies, crackers, salted pistachios (I was craving salt), chocolate cookies, angel food cake, and cool whip. Then I drank about 5 glasses of water with salt stirred in. Then I got my toothbrush I use for this and purged. I didn't like this though because it...
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Recent Entries

  • Emotions
    March 20, 2021
    Everyone who touches me makes a comment about how bony I am. I secretly love thinking I might be but my body still has a lot of flaws and flabby areas. I don’t eat anything that I don’t throw up except for my bouillon cube and sometimes fruit. I try to avoid eating fruit though,…
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  • Failed
    March 19, 2021
    I ended up throwing up today. Just had to. I ate 1/2 avocado and 1/2 a banana and just wanted to throw up. I like myself like this.
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  • Starve or purge
    March 18, 2021
    I’ve been trying not to throw up, but then there’s only so much I can eat. Yesterday I only had a bouillon cube so 35 calories. Today I just ate part of a turkey burger (no bun) and I’m trying not to throw this up. But the break room at work is FILLED with food…
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  • Sad
    March 14, 2021
    It’s been a while since I’ve had free time at work, but I had some time today so I went into a patient’s room who had been combative with the techs. One of the techs said he wouldn’t or couldn’t eat and left with the food tray next to him. I put the tray in…
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  • disappear
    March 12, 2021
    I watched a youtube today called The Morning After I Killed Myself, which had me in tears. Not that I would kill myself, but I keep wishing I was dead. I went to the grocery store again today, and felt so anxious with all that food around me. I limited my binge this time to…
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  • Losing weight
    March 7, 2021
    I’ve read that most bulimics are average weight or above average. I’m not sure how other bulimics eat, but I don’t eat 3 normal meals a day and binge/purge other times. Certain things I eat I’ll just want to throw up. It doesn’t matter how many calories are in something or how much I eat.…
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  • Work and food
    March 6, 2021
    I had a few busy days at work. I feel so dumb at work. I’m always behind and asking for help with how to do something. Even the secretary took off on a day I’m supposed to be in charge because she knows it will be awful. I keep thinking I’ll get better, but I…
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  • 2
    February 26, 2021
    I started taking laxatives. That's gross. I'm so obsessed with this. I had to go get my hair fixed today, and all during it I was thinking about food and planning my purges. I work this weekend. No one there knows except one person, and no one anywhere else knows. I trust her and she's…
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  • Food
    February 25, 2021
    I had to create a diary because I am so obsessed with food, I want to just talk to someone constantly about it. I started throwing up what I ate only a few weeks ago, but it really took over my life fast. I hadn’t meant it to, but even my thoughts have changed about…
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