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An Old Friend

May 19, 2020
My last entry was in 2009.  I received an email telling me that my open diary account could be recovered.  The curiosity of who I was over a decade ago was too great for me to ignore.  I pushed the button, and I here I am.  It’s like talking to an old friend, where years…
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Recent Entries

  • 6 ft Deep
    September 30, 2009
          I just wrote about 3 paragraphs and erased them all because I realize how pathetic I am, and I'm in a proactive attempt to cleanse it for good out of my system.   I've had a LOT of setbacks in my quest for, I dont know, self-adoration maybe?  I've bee...
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  • Heart Sick
    September 6, 2009
          I hate the late nights when I'm alone, and all I want to do is pick up that phone and text the one person I know doesn't really want to (or care to) hear from me.  I have others who wouldnt mind hearing from me, but for some obscure reason the only person ...
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  • 2 years later.
    August 18, 2009
      I got tired of writing myspace blogs.  So, I deleted my profile and randomly remembered about this account I haven't written in for so long.   It was bittersweet reading the old entries of my previous relationship.  Sweet to read the fumbling thoughts of a naive girl, a...
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  • A Good Day
    October 13, 2007
      So far today's a good "up" day.  2 nights ago when I took the first pill was a different story, though.  I took the first Zoloft at 10:30 and fell asleep around 12:50.  I abruptly woke up at 3:50 feeling very alert and paranoid.  I paced the house for about 5 ...
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  • So Much to Deal With
    October 11, 2007
          After 9 years I finally told my parents that I think I have symptoms of depression and anxiety.  Normally I try to just put the pieces back together myself, but this break up was way too hard and I can't do it alone anymore.  I was very surprised with the react...
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  • No More Waiting
    October 8, 2007
    no need to wait anymore....   last night he crushed everything good I had inside me.  I was still his scapegoat for all of his insecurities, and he made me feel so insignificant.  I don't know what to feel right now.   I feel lost and afraid. 
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  • Shame
    October 6, 2007
           My heart still aches, but it feels more hollow now than the suffocating feeling I was getting a few days ago.  I feel as though I'm approaching my own funeral the way the 10th lurks on my calendar just begging to be erased.  Dead man walking...isn't that ...
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  • Longest 10 Days of My Life
    October 1, 2007
       The recent ex and I have been trying to do the "friend" thing while we're on a "break".  Of course it didn't work.  Sunday we were on instant messenger simultaneously, I tried to refrain from speaking to him and much to my surprise he messaged first with...
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  • That’s What Family’s For
    September 29, 2007
         My grandmother just called me.  She basically gave me a much needed chewing out for the way I've been dealing with this break up.  We're very close and once she found out from my mom that I was single again, she called me up to save me from the depressed funk th...
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