Recent Entries

• The constant feeling of guilt.

  March 20, 2019

  Guilt. I can't seem to pinpoint this constant anxiousness that has returned.  I had been doing so good, for so long.  Yet, suddenly I'm filled with the misery I use to feel 24/7.  My chest feels like it physically hurts.  I don't understand it.  I don't like it.  When I think about it.  Hard.  I&...

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• Home, School, Work!

  December 30, 2018

  Slowly I'm beginning to feel like I'm headed the direction I want to be.  It's amazing how long it can take to accomplish all of the things you dream of.  Yet, for some it seems to simple to find their dreams & make them happen.  I suppose it really is the journey & not the…

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• I’ll do whatever I have to!

  November 5, 2018

  I'm exhausted.  150% exhausted.  I'd like to go to sleep & sleep for many solid hours.  However, that's impossible since there isn't a single human in the house willing to take a night shift or watch over Kiwi closely.  So, I figured I'd write a rambling entry while I wait to head back to the...

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• Sleeping is almost too easy!

  August 8, 2018

  So often I think about sitting down to write an entry.  Yet, I never do.  It sounds like too much working.  Sitting here typing just feels exhausting.  Then I start to question what I could write.  How I could write.  Would it make sense?  Would it be good enough?  The next thing I know I've…

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• Don’t Judge – It really does take a village.

  June 29, 2018

  Some days my job is simply too much for me. I like my job.  I like the people I work with. I like the clients I truly am able to help.  To know that I've helped enable them to be the best they can be.  To take good care of their kids.  To know their…

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• Over it!

  May 29, 2018

  I am so over it.  Totally, utterly over it. I simply want to close my eyes, go to sleep & not wake up for a very, very, very long time.  Sometimes life is too much.  Lately I've hit that point.  It's too much.  It's hard.  It's exhausting.  It's not fair. Instead of sleeping I continue…

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• So close to my dream!

  May 7, 2018

  We are so close to closing on our first (and ONLY) home.  It's just about unbelievable to me.  In 4 days I'll be a homeowner?!?!?!  Finally. It's been exhausting to get to this point.  The years of repairing all the damage I did.  The years of contemplating what I wanted.  The years of addiction,...

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• 2005 vs 2018

  April 15, 2018

  Would I have believed in 2005 I'd be where I am today?  Never. I made a Facebook post a few days ago.  It was simple.  The need to clean my house & be productive for the day.  Seriously, it was dirty & needed to be done.  My friend, N, replied with a to the point…

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• It’s Worth It. Always.

  March 21, 2018

  Wow.  Tuesday is my crazy long day.  Often at the end I'm left sitting here thinking the same thing "Have I bitten off more than I can chew in life?"  Sometimes I begin to doubt myself.  Question if these are the smartest ideas I've ever had.  In the end, I know they are all smart…

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