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Ashamed

July 16, 2019
I am ashamed of where I am at in life. I for some reason feel like a burden and a horrible fucking person. I can't do anything right today. One thing I can do is try and get a apartment on my own. Or I'm going to leave state. I just don't know how I…
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Recent Entries

  • 2015
    July 16, 2019
    In 2015 I attempted to kill myself. I took an entire bottle of tegretol. I had passed out. If I wasn't found when I was found I would have died. I was living in a place that was unbearable. I felt suicide was the only way out. I went to 2 different hospital. Oakwood was…
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  • Up north
    July 16, 2019
    So I had talked to my dad today and he said either tomorrow or Thursday we are going up north. That's just made my entire day. I just don't know what to bring with me. I'm so indisisve.its raining right now but not to bad. I was able to fall back to sleep at 2…
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  • The same
    July 16, 2019
    AFC and group homes are the same thing. I am on disability so I can not work. Been on it for about 10 years. I am mentally ill and I have a bad back. I am bipolar, borderline personality disorder, anxiety. I take meds for my mental health. I also see a psychiatrist. Today I…
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  • Homeless
    July 15, 2019
    I am thinking of leaving the AFC home and become homeless. I know it sounds stupid but anywhere is better then this hell.
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  • Rainbows and unicorns
    July 15, 2019
    My dad had to go to his cancer doctor.i dont know how that went. I had gotten enough money to get a pop. I kept it hidden so larura wouldn't bitch at me. Mouth hurts vary bad today. Other then that it's been a good day.
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  • Went to church
    July 14, 2019
    Two weeks in a row. Larura made me feel bad about not wanting to go. There is no way I can be happy living in this AFC home. It's not fun at all. You get told what to do and when to do it. How to put your clothes away and how much stuff you…
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  • I don’t like
    July 14, 2019
    I really don't like my homeowner's attitude. She lives in the home with us. All she does is make me feel like shit. I can't even talk to my case worker without her being there. I'm affraid to talk to her. This person is vary condisendig. She also has mental illness. I asked someone my…
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  • Boring
    July 13, 2019
    today is a boring day. I've kept to myself for most of the day. I just didn't want to deal with people. Kim namjoon and Tom kaulitz are my heros. With out BTS and tokio hotel I would most likely be dead by now. People tell me music can't save lives. I say music can…
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  • KITTENS
    July 12, 2019
    Baby goo is having her kittens today. She has 5 so far but one passed away.. we burryed him in the yard. I just saw the kittens. They are so tiny. I want to be able to keep one but my landlord said no. We have enough animals. I'm so in a mood now. My…
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