Latest Entry

COPD

September 3, 2021
Every day the same thing Heavy body I pray for hydration and weight, gravity. Body is dead. It is dead. Will it ever revive? I lose hope I lose hope when I feel like my condition makes me nothing in your eyes. It blunts my testament.  They held a parade down south on the day…
Continue Reading...

Recent Entries

  • My only joy
    September 3, 2021
    You’re virtually my only joy but I’m going to give you up. instead I choose the swallows catching insects in the morning the baby orchids the drums the new releases the little bird under the yew tree Arnold the spontaneous kindness of strangers the hope that has all but perished inside me the oce...
    Continue Reading...
  • The End of Days
    September 2, 2021
    I can feel it. rumbling within. I can feel the terror and the exhaustion i can feel my family’s chaos. I can feel the desperation. I can feel the elation. The fresh flesh, the fresh hope. I can feel the dread. The regret. how can I make it stop? How can I find joy again?…
    Continue Reading...
  • Nirvana
    September 2, 2021
    I once knew a place that was purely love I was a person there. I belonged there. This place was paradise. It felt like the centre of the world, I never wanted to be displaced from it. Jesus lived there too. He knew me. We knew eachother. I was supported by so many people who…
    Continue Reading...
  • Come on
    September 2, 2021
    Come on. You can do this. You can force yourself through the next month or two just think of four things to accomplish a day. i can’t just keep smoking. I need to think of my health. I’m trying to be proactive, trying to get my mood up. it really helps me to look at…
    Continue Reading...
  • Hopeless
    September 1, 2021
    I feel so hopeless. Lying in bed, no appetite. Waiting to feel good again. I have a few things I could focus on. They are: borrow my doggy (app) painting model animals going to the gym writing lyrics making beats ive just had a hopeless day where I do none of these things. But in…
    Continue Reading...
  • Fingertips
    August 31, 2021
    Today was alright. I have a sense of dread with regards to my health and my body feels very dry. But I was functional today. I tried to make some music with a new gadget I just bought. My brain is still stuck. I don’t know whether to do stream of consciousness when I write…
    Continue Reading...
  • Freezing waters
    August 31, 2021
    Freezing Waters anglesey sirens the smell of paint tyres on the motorway the day is grey and carries potential
    Continue Reading...
  • Foundations
    August 31, 2021
    Tragedy or opportunity? every day is an opportunity for creativity every day I can express my feelings and try and go deeper into them. I will never give in to tragedy. I see my life as a gift
    Continue Reading...
  • Last week
    August 30, 2021
    I felt better this evening. My body still feels out of control. I’m so worried about my health. But my appetite came back this evening - enough for me to feel enthusiastic about meal planning for the next week. it has been awful. Lying in bed every day, shortness of breath and a feeling of…
    Continue Reading...

Search Entries

  • Use dropdowns or search terms above to find entries.