I've died once, been too close a few times, my disease progressed and rendered me very sick for a few years, had a serious surgery mid January, mothered a child, been an addict and recovered (a few times). ...so this is the second lap of life. I'm mid-life.

hopefully this is a place I can be honest. those places are hard to come by.

Latest Entry

grass is greener syndrome

May 16, 2023
things are temporarily ok with me and P. I guess I feel like I'm on the edge of having a nervous breakdown lately. I was super worried about my medical health for so long. and I was concerned for my mental health then also. but now it seems the Lexapro has helped with my anxiety.…
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Recent Entries

  • privacy
    April 27, 2023
    so... this is really the only place I can go to vent and tell the truth. she finds and reads my written journal. and if I tell my friends or mom or whatever,...I could. but it's getting old. I have no privacy. ..and I really don't like to involve other people in disputes with my…
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  • paradoxes are impressive
    April 4, 2023
    so I think I have my old job back. I was basically answering phones and listening people talk about why they're unhappy. I'd write a report and send it to the proper locations....which, btw, sometimes sent it back to us claiming they had no clue what was going on. So I'm not completely sure where...
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  • second lap
    March 15, 2023
    idk why I'm even doing this. I need an outlet. and I miss OD. my gf gets upset when I leave the house and argues with me for however long about it. every. time. I leave. and I haven't been leaving the house for months. I really hate it. and gets sus about the seat…
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