I am 39, have been married to the love of my life, a woman, since I was 18 and we met on AOL. I know... but yea, 20 blissful years together and we've hit bumpy times since doing meth together 3 years ago. It has also made us like one complete person.... We have gone through wonderment and hell all wrapped up in a crystal ball... And the only future I can tell from that crystal is that we will still be together no matter what!!

Latest Entry

Coming for you…

February 25, 2021
I can remember not that long ago when I was fine.  I mean, yea, sleeping it off the next four, five, even six to seven days was something we both participated in.  But my wife is not an addict.  See, when I was addicted to pain pills, it was different.  I took them differently, needed them more,&...
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Recent Entries

  • Well, that was quick…
    February 25, 2021
    I woke up the day after dope feeling like I wanted to crawl inside my wife and die.  I still feel that way, but now there are drugs in my home and in my lungs and blood so I feel healthier. heh. It's business as usual for now... please.  Just.  OK?  Me and the wife…
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  • Quit Day – DAY ONE…
    February 23, 2021
    I feel: ready panicked overwhelmed trapped craved like a mofo love for my wife and aglow with knowing she is wanting this so much so ready to smoke a joint lol angry pissy benevolent METH please give me omg ready set go
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  • Married
    February 22, 2021
    I am married.  Sometimes I forget what that means,  like really really down to its core.  My wife doesn;t tho.  She's a hardcore married person from beginning to end.  No wonder we've lasted 21 years... she's been carrying us.  I'm a horribe person.  :(
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  • Whoa.. it;s just me…
    February 22, 2021
    Hi I'm so sad and depressed. The gleam has definitely worn off and the last couple of days have been pretty miserable, full of dope and hallucinations or my wife is cheating on me I'm not sure yet.  The cats have been annoying us sooo much been yelling at them nonstop.  Everything is getting on&h...
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  • Asset 6
    Back from Rehab n Such…
    February 16, 2021
    I went to rehab on Jan 29th. I came  back yesterday, and the thing is, while I do feel changed and I learned a lot... I came home to my very gorgeous lonely wife, and my waiting meth.  It was my idea, in the damn rehab center, to get it.  And since we are so weak even…
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  • Starting Over
    January 26, 2021
    This is not the person I wanna portray to anyone on here. I shouldn't even be caring what anyone else thinks.  I loooove opendiary but at the same time I hate it.  Because for yeeears before opendiary existed?  I wrote in little diaries and I would make a big deal over picking out my new…
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  • NO
    January 21, 2021
    This is killing meeee................. I am not whole anymore.  I love you so much.  I miss you,,, already.  Why?  I don't... can't.
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  • Asset 5
    Too Much
    January 20, 2021
    The sweat of your body - the hot - it's not sweet... I like it... a lot. too much.... Everything has somehow become too much. feel it too? well, now I'm all "anxiety" just like you. well, not juuust. but ya know. and my my my... how my panties overflow... you are becoming too much.…
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  • Asset 5
    Reflective my God!
    January 19, 2021
    Will you, love that you are of my life 🧬 and being in fact one in the same as I, ever leave?   I need to know when to plan the event that will be my non breathing... will you ever, while looking at me, turn away from the huge light shining - the torch I carry,…
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