63 year old factory worker doing the last work of it's kind in the last factory in the USA that makes what we make. Endangered species. Clean living person. Been there done that with the drugs, alcohol, craziness and suicide. Survivor ;-) Live alone with a bird. No criminal record (never caught!).

Latest Entry

The Best Way To Move On After A Break-up

December 2, 2020
For me that is. I just realized it tonight.  I had known a distant woman for a few years. Met her for 2 weekends. I never felt she was very warm. We almost got married. I decided NO. Could not find any positives in it. That was a year ago. Since then we have been…
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Recent Entries

  • Kicking My Ass Out Of Ennui
    December 2, 2020
    For anyone laid-off or job lost, ennui becomes a scary part of life. I know I am going to be ok but there is this free-floating anxiety at times. I woke this morning and found a message from my boss asking how I am. I was polite and honest. I felt a panic that I…
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  • Old Note Books & Holding Onto The Past
    December 2, 2020
    Recently I have been thinking about some old notebooks tucked into a box in my bedroom closet. They are like artifacts of some stranger's life. Words I find difficult to read because they were written in MY hand writing. A cursive I felt safe that nobody could ever read. Now, that "nobody" is me....
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  • The NEW Divide In The USA And American People
    December 2, 2020
    A few weeks ago I read an article that (in short) the author believed the USA has become a nation divided by the sane and the insane. NOT Red VS Blue. More like those that are logical and reality based and those, not.  Take for example, the trump supporters and their wild conspiracy theories. The...
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  • Shaved Today
    December 1, 2020
    This morning I got up and shaved. It took me about 90 seconds to remove the main beard then maybe 2 minutes to give myself a good shave with an electric razor. It is stunning how it makes me feel different INSIDE. I know I look much better without the beard. Some people can grow…
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  • The Insanity Of December
    November 30, 2020
    Whenever I open a website I am bombed by ads wanting me to BUY! BUY! BUY! I have to laugh about how insane this is. I just filed for renewed unemployment benefits. I have 8 weeks left before it all runs out. I know I will be called back to work for a few weeks…
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  • Dating Site Views
    November 29, 2020
      A few years ago, out of loneliness, I joined a dating site that promoted itself as a “dating” site for people around the world. I believe it is for people that want marriage or friendship. My purpose was for … “INTIMACY”. I had to ponder that question many asked me of, “why are you…
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  • Floating Into Consciousness Singing
    November 29, 2020
    A few weeks ago I heard part of a song playing in my mind. It was only part of a song. A voice heard in passing. A voice from the past. Long ago. I felt a sense of wonder that I heard that. That my mind had kept that memory of a song of childhood…
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  • Day 7
    November 24, 2020
    #7 day of no work. I always wake-up early and feel I am late for work. As I write this I feel a little guilty for not being at work. Other people laid off or retired often go back to their place of work. I do not. My logical mind understands it but my emotional…
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  • My Birds And I
    November 23, 2020
    Over 2 years ago I bought Buddy, a light green conure at a pet store. It was my birthday and I was thinking a lot about suicide. Bought Buddy on impulse. No more thoughts of suicide. Had someone to care for. Last February I bought Max as a companion for Buddy. Much anxiety about the…
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