I'm trying to survive.

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  • The most normal entry yet.
    February 28, 2019
    I cut pineapple for five hrs today. Nothing else. They need help in produce for the bogo sale. My feet hurt so bad. I am so tired. I bit the bullet and bought health insurance. I need to get on some meds to help balance my chemicals because I can't handle barely anything. Then, I…
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  • Things about me
    February 28, 2019
    I used to develop my own film, make my own prints in the darkroom. I had everything for my own darkroom. I jumped out of a perfectly good airplane at 18,000 ft. I used to fold origami. My favorite fold was the X-Wing fighter. I love science. I almost bought my first home back in…
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  • Moves.
    February 27, 2019
    I'm going to start going to an abuse support group, get on some medication. I'm going to get better.
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  • That went well…
    February 27, 2019
    I made a mess. Told my manager I wanted to kill myself. I kind of lost it today, spoke to a crisis counselor and everything. Oh boy. What a mess. I'm hoping to start meds soon. Thank goodness I'm not on fb anymore, the whole world would have known about every detail.  😬😬😬🤦‍♀️
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  • It’s hell living here.
    February 24, 2019
    I wake up, make breakfast and start cleaning. She gets up from her bed to close the door. I want to walk out on this mess to leave her to clean so I can get away from her toxicity. She wants me to live with her all her life, stay and deal with this bullshit.…
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  • Every once in a while.
    February 24, 2019
    There's a window of time where I am lucid and am able to see the massive wake of damage I have caused by not getting medicated and staying medicated. During this window of time I'm extremely fragile and the slightest upset can shove me back into my insanity. I am afraid I won't be able…
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  • Another escape.
    February 22, 2019
    I need to get my son and myself out of my mother's home. She's toxic in a lot of ways. I can't stay her companion here when I need to better myself and she constantly helps make me feel like I cannot survive on my own. Good God I will be 32 this year. I…
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  • Songbird
    February 18, 2019
    The moon is so bright tonight the birds are pulling an all nighter.
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  • What I wish he’d understand
    February 4, 2019
    I allowed you to break something in me. Not me myself. I'm physically still here, walking this beautiful, yet damaged soil while being more than the okay single mother I ever thought I could be. You see, you make this about wanting to have and control mere mortal flesh where I see we've made a&he...
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