Walking through this life, picking my Self up when I stumble, learning and growing each time. Sharing this path with others, sometimes holding hands for awhile, then saying good bye as we choose different ways. Always remembering by writing a map of my journey.

Latest Entry

It was the staff …

December 7, 2019
… Christmas party last night. John had asked if he could crash on my couch if he drank too much, and I said 'sure!' I should have said no, but I didn't … he said the couch and I was okay with that, but then after I said 'sure', I wondered if I had yet…
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Recent Entries

  • There is …
    December 6, 2019
    … nothing right now.  Not emptiness.  A blank canvas perhaps.  Standing at a fork in the road, and the moment before deciding which road to take.  I am breathing in … and the moment before … I am breathing out.  Peace, I suppose.  CUSP - Clarity Understanding Strength and Peace I'm just rolling w...
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  • My sweet little …
    December 4, 2019
    … granddaughter turned four on Monday.  I forgot how wonderful that age is.  She told me that when God wakes up he says "feeling fine like turkey time" ahahahahaha omg, I just about peed my pants when she said that!!  There wasn't a family birthday party this year which was a bit strange, and it&...
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  • He’s blocked and …
    December 3, 2019
    … deleted from everywhere I can think of, including shared documents.  When I received his email of apology back in late September, I was happy to have my friend back.  At first, it seemed like he was trying harder to look at his shit and figure it out and make changes, but as the weeks…
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  • Saying no …
    November 25, 2019
    … is more about saying yes to something else … I really like the message it conveys and changing a negative no to a positive yes. Over the past several months I have taken a very hard look at the woman I see in the mirror, her behaviours, her thoughts and feelings, her reactions and…
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  • We spent the …
    November 24, 2019
    … afternoon getting almost nothing accomplished.  That's what you get with expectations, and I'm not sure if my mom will ever totally understand that about expectations.  She wants things done her way, and while she's open for discussion ahead of time, once the plan is in place there is little to...
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  • The first of four …
    November 23, 2019
    … weeks is over until my last day, and for the most part went quite well.  It was cool to have a couple of 'confirmation moments' in which I needed to go to the back and internally scream, then remind myself that this is exactly why I gave notice.  I don't like saying I quit…
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  • I had a video …
    November 21, 2019
    … call with a woman from Switzerland yesterday morning … free for 20 minutes.  I found her through a site called TrueSelf based on the Enneagrams and when her email came through with this offer, I figured what the hell … let's find out.  It was a very good call and in a short 20…
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  • Well, I did it! …
    November 16, 2019
    … I gave my resignation at the end of the day yesterday … one month's notice … my last day will be on my 55th birthday … Freedom 55 baby!! Even if it is for only a few weeks.  The day was invigorating because I knew what I was going to do, and at the…
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  • Thought balls …
    November 15, 2019
    … what can I learn? resistance to Shantal; she is an attention getter since the day she was born; John's dismissal without explanation is weird; sense of freedom Jordan not paying the money he owes me is leading me to possible small claims action; I'm done with my job Niko can't talk to me like&h...
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