If I could go anywhere right now, I would go to a movie-fied version of Paris in the 1950’s…all Technicolor pastels…and with all the sparkle of the celluloid that captured it…and I would stride down the street in my heels, walking a poodle & smoking Gauloises like I was the fucking shit, man. And I would be. I would be the fucking shit...

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Asset 5

A Stone Flower in Medusa’s Garden

February 19, 2019
I finally told him about that Valentine’s Day... You were relentless that year in your pursuit of our mutually assured destruction. Between your addictions and my self-destruction, we were all gut rot and sore thumbs. Even though it was for different reasons, all our arms were bruised to August s...
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Recent Entries

  • Lodestone & Iron
    February 16, 2019
    I escaped to Saratoga to be with him this weekend. On Friday morning, I show up at the door of the Victorian house his apartment is in…I am dressed in my new 1-size-smaller black skinny jeans that I have tucked into my kick ass little ankle boots and a baggy plaid shirt with touches of…
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  • No Cherries, No Sevens
    February 9, 2019
    Jenny-2010   In 2010, you are writing in a journal to the man that would become your husband. I don’t know how the journal later came to end up at our parent’s in a mint green-repainted-to-peach nightstand in what is still referred to as Jenny’s Room. You haven’t slept there in a very long t...
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  • Asset 5
    Birthday Letter to Rowan, Age 4
    February 8, 2019
    Birthday letter to Rowan on his 4th Birthday: Dearest Baby Boy, Another year’s tour of memories has spun through the viewfinder…I click, click, click to review your year…I can’t help but smile at your world, a circus of bright palettes of colors and the dazzle of light beams filtered through your...
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  • Asset 5
    Our Magpie Luck
    January 29, 2019
    Mostly, I try not to let myself think about you… but under today's snowstorm, a sky full of doves shedding their cold white feathers, I thought about you… I was thinking about that one Valentine’s Day when we were living in that efficiency where we had practically nothing. We were happy there. We...
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  • Fireworks Vs. Shrapnel
    January 27, 2019
    “You’re so easy.” I hate that he says that to me…but, ironically, it’s the way he’s gotten me undressed the fastest. A crack of a cap gun at the start of the race. A bugle call for the sun coming up. The conductor’s baton, poised. I meet him at 4 at the hotel, a different…
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  • On Behalf of the Object
    January 22, 2019
    My day in review... This Morning… Waiting for the bus with Bridget. Cold staining my cheeks, burning the tips of my toes. I am in a ballerina pink dress and tights, inadequate for the -16 temperatures. I am wearing little black satin flats, stained with salt. I am too poor to replace them or to&h...
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  • The Toll of It All
    January 18, 2019
    Trigger warning: This entry is not for everyone...proceed with caution.   Drinking to emotional amnesia. Last night, I closed my eyes and returned home to you. You are uncharacteristically gentle…unsheathing my body carefully from my play clothes, like my bones are blades waiting to unman yo...
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  • The Burlesque Dance of Relationships
    January 11, 2019
    Last night, he offered me his arm to hold.  We were on the street in a white out. I grabbed on, as we slid our feet over sidewalks greased with the sludge of the people who shuffled there before us, people who had already vanished into the dry, warmth of their apartments and cars. Massive…
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  • Asset 5
    Birthday Letter to Bridget, Age 6
    January 7, 2019
    Every year, I write a letter to my children on their birthday. I email Bridget's to her in an email account I started a couple years ago...with the intent that I will give her the account/password when she is older. She turns 6 on January 9...this is this year's birthday letter:   Dearest Br...
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