If I could go anywhere right now, I would go to a movie-fied version of Paris in the 1950’s…all Technicolor pastels…and with all the sparkle of the celluloid that captured it…and I would stride down the street in my heels, walking a poodle & smoking Gauloises like I was the fucking shit, man. And I would be. I would be the fucking shit...

Latest Entry

The Snap of Your Mighty Fingers

March 28, 2020
After I killed the first baby Alex & I made, I prayed to get pregnant all the time. I thought that if the prayer was answered, it would prove God didn’t hate me…that he wasn’t going to punish me forever for the choice I had made. But after several desperate years of clasped hand pleas…
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Recent Entries

  • The Great Kenny Rogers Debacle of 1995
    March 21, 2020
    This morning, I woke up to the news that Kenny Rogers had passed. This news prompted me to look back in my OD archives for this ridiculously trying-hard-to-offend piece I wrote about a true event in my own life involving Kenny Rogers. When I was 13, I was selected to sing with my sister &&hel...
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  • METAPHORS FOR WHAT WE HAD
    March 14, 2020
    METAPHORS FOR WHAT WE HAD  A walk after midnight under failing street lamps that buzz and blink off one by one just as you pass under them till the corner ahead becomes a mystery you begin to dread solving A stiff-legged waltz where the dancers wear leg braces and cling to each other’s arms as&he...
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  • Expletive
    March 13, 2020
    I slept with him again. After declining months of his invitations dressed up as come-ons, I finally gave in. I don’t know why. Like many other times before, he told me he was passing through town & asked me if I would meet him for a cocktail. Usually I respond to such texts by metaphorically&...
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  • In Your Pursuit
    March 10, 2020
    The day of the fight, I don’t know what possessed us. Any of us. Your father, you, me. You and I were supposed to be leaving, heading out to visit my friends in Fredonia where I went to school. You were living above your father still in that little whirl of an apartment. The floor…
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  • What Could’ve Been But Wasn’t
    March 7, 2020
    The land was generous & giving where we grew up, was kind & yielding in ways that our life was not. The old family homestead we grew up in was a dry & rotting farmhouse that we could never quite bring back to life--no matter how hard my father tried to revive it with paint…
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  • Shouldn’t Have Just Told You That
    March 7, 2020
    Therapist: So…anything else? Me: No…. Me:…. Me: Well…the dissociative episodes I sometimes have are occurring a little more frequently lately. Therapist: Dissociative episodes...? Me: Yes. Therapist: Ok, that term gets thrown around a lot, and sometimes incorrectly, so I need you to tell me what ...
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  • The Anomaly in My Reverie
    March 2, 2020
    dear morney do the dead dream of the living like the living dream of the dead? are those the occasions when you visit me; tunneling up through some twilit trapdoor into this realm, from your dreamstate into mine? you came topside the other night, crawling up out of the shadows into the middle of ...
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  • Three Recent Dreams, Transcribed
    February 22, 2020
    i. Stacey you reappear after years of silent, overcast absence, bearing a gift for me: a little white cat in your arms. but in the eclipse of your unexpected return, i barely notice the cat at first--i am just so overjoyed to see you. the feeling of happiness like a sky full of parachutes opening...
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  • Birthday Letter to Rowan, Age 5
    February 15, 2020
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