If I could go anywhere right now, I would go to a movie-fied version of Paris in the 1950’s…all Technicolor pastels…and with all the sparkle of the celluloid that captured it…and I would stride down the street in my heels, walking a poodle & smoking Gauloises like I was the fucking shit, man. And I would be. I would be the fucking shit...

Latest Entry

Fault Lines

April 16, 2019
This weekend, the fault line appeared…with us on opposing sides of it… At this point, even if he reaches out to me with his aristocratically soft hands, I can’t leap to his side….and he is totally unaware of the damage of his words in all their terrible, irreversible totality. It all started inno...
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Recent Entries

  • The Impatient Reckoning
    April 13, 2019
    Some days I feel like I’m disappearing. Like I’m finger-writing the word goodbye repeatedly in the clouds of a steamed up mirror, and they won’t see it till it is too late.  A fall morning walk of total erasure into the confusion of a dense fog. Swan dive off a cliff into the cupped hands…
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  • I Thought I Was Someone Else, Someone Good
    April 6, 2019
    Ironically, the rusty nail that will catch the thread that unravels us will be my inability to understand why he’s so good to me. As is typical, I am sure I will come to understand any of it only when I’m standing completely naked and vulnerable amidst the ruin of colored yarn, thinking, “What ha...
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  • The Non-Calibrated Standards of Doing One’s Best
    April 4, 2019
    While cleaning today, I found a journal I wrote in back in 2016. It was a fascinating, albeit disturbing read-written by a person, who was just dangling ...2016 was the year my life basically imploded inward on itself like a giant black hole full of endless SUCK. It's the year  that started a dec...
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  • The Alchemy of Ugliness
    March 29, 2019
    He came to town unexpectedly today. My cheeks are currently flushed rosy with wine & good sex, my body loosely strung with the aftereffects of passion. We had been texting all week, texts running the gamut of day-to-day business to flirty to filth. Yesterday, even though I knew he was working...
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  • Such Weird Real Estate
    March 23, 2019
    Head full of flames, belly full of dread… That is how I approached seeing J. this weekend. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see him. I did.  However, all week, via text, he kept teasing my anxiety into tangles…sailor knots of worries….He kept hinting at various things he wanted to do to me in…
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  • Running Up the Tab
    March 19, 2019
    Once again, drunk me is running up a tab sober me can’t pay. This won't be my typical fare for an entry...You can expect cheap obscenities & subpar writing. Or maybe that is what you HAVE come to expect. I don't know. Like most of my city, I spent a great majority of the weekend…
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  • Asset 5
    Tracklist for the Ruining of Young Girls’ Lives
    March 15, 2019
    I’ve been thinking about the day you shot the cow in the yard. I had a Fisher Price tape recorder as a child, all primary colors and thick, chunky plastic parts. It was my favorite toy when I was little. I would constantly record everything around me, a tapestry of sounds woven by the people…
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  • The Ending We Wrote
    March 13, 2019
    I dreamt about you last night. I was throwing a party for you for some reason—even though I knew you probably wouldn’t show up. Our schizophrenic, artist friend, Daryl, was first to arrive…My brain sparked to life at the recognition of his Native American hair dusted gray…those sucked in cheeks, ...
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  • Asset 5
    My Daughter the Mountain Goat
    March 12, 2019
    Because I struggle to sometimes connect with my daughter, I write her letters that I send to an email account I set up for her. I will give her the password some day when she is older... Dear Bridget Today I watched you at dance class in complete maternal awe. I sat hunched over on…
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