Recent Entries

• Lodestone & Iron

  February 16, 2019

  I escaped to Saratoga to be with him this weekend. On Friday morning, I show up at the door of the Victorian house his apartment is in…I am dressed in my new 1-size-smaller black skinny jeans that I have tucked into my kick ass little ankle boots and a baggy plaid shirt with touches of…

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• No Cherries, No Sevens

  February 9, 2019

  Jenny-2010   In 2010, you are writing in a journal to the man that would become your husband. I don’t know how the journal later came to end up at our parent’s in a mint green-repainted-to-peach nightstand in what is still referred to as Jenny’s Room. You haven’t slept there in a very long t...

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• Birthday Letter to Rowan, Age 4

  February 8, 2019

  Birthday letter to Rowan on his 4th Birthday: Dearest Baby Boy, Another year’s tour of memories has spun through the viewfinder…I click, click, click to review your year…I can’t help but smile at your world, a circus of bright palettes of colors and the dazzle of light beams filtered through your...

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• Our Magpie Luck

  January 29, 2019

  Mostly, I try not to let myself think about you… but under today's snowstorm, a sky full of doves shedding their cold white feathers, I thought about you… I was thinking about that one Valentine’s Day when we were living in that efficiency where we had practically nothing. We were happy there. We...

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• Fireworks Vs. Shrapnel

  January 27, 2019

  “You’re so easy.” I hate that he says that to me…but, ironically, it’s the way he’s gotten me undressed the fastest. A crack of a cap gun at the start of the race. A bugle call for the sun coming up. The conductor’s baton, poised. I meet him at 4 at the hotel, a different…

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• On Behalf of the Object

  January 22, 2019

  My day in review... This Morning… Waiting for the bus with Bridget. Cold staining my cheeks, burning the tips of my toes. I am in a ballerina pink dress and tights, inadequate for the -16 temperatures. I am wearing little black satin flats, stained with salt. I am too poor to replace them or to&h...

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• The Toll of It All

  January 18, 2019

  Trigger warning: This entry is not for everyone...proceed with caution.   Drinking to emotional amnesia. Last night, I closed my eyes and returned home to you. You are uncharacteristically gentle…unsheathing my body carefully from my play clothes, like my bones are blades waiting to unman yo...

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• The Burlesque Dance of Relationships

  January 11, 2019

  Last night, he offered me his arm to hold.  We were on the street in a white out. I grabbed on, as we slid our feet over sidewalks greased with the sludge of the people who shuffled there before us, people who had already vanished into the dry, warmth of their apartments and cars. Massive…

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• Birthday Letter to Bridget, Age 6

  January 7, 2019

  Every year, I write a letter to my children on their birthday. I email Bridget's to her in an email account I started a couple years ago...with the intent that I will give her the account/password when she is older. She turns 6 on January 9...this is this year's birthday letter:   Dearest Br...

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