If I could go anywhere right now, I would go to a movie-fied version of Paris in the 1950’s…all Technicolor pastels…and with all the sparkle of the celluloid that captured it…and I would stride down the street in my heels, walking a poodle & smoking Gauloises like I was the fucking shit, man. And I would be. I would be the fucking shit...

Latest Entry

No Fair Weather Love

January 19, 2021
I tend to be an emotional cutter. It’s a bad habit, sticking my finger in the flame to remind myself just how much it hurts. Last night, I read through as many emails between Alex and me, as I could stand to inflict on myself. Because I am the only person left in my own…
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Recent Entries

  • Soundtracc Attacc
    January 15, 2021
    If my life was a movie, these are the songs that would play during the following scenes: You're a teen from the wrong side of the tracks raising hell with the kids from “good families”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpUfRsoedqM Getting kidnapped by your friends the night before you leave for co...
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  • Breaking Nails on the Hardwood Floor
    January 11, 2021
    It’s funny... Usually when you wake up on the living room floor with your nails all jaggedly broken off, you would be looking around for the culprit. For me, it’s as simple as remembering back to what I dreamed the previous night. As if I could ever forget... Things had been getting better in the...
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  • It Won’t Always Be This Way
    January 6, 2021
    Every year, I write my daughter a letter on her birthday. I email it (along with any other letters I write to her throughout the year/pictures/songs, etc) to an email account that I will turn over to her when she is 18. She turns 8 on Saturday. This is this year's birthday letter. Dear Bridget,&h...
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  • The Plot & the Soundtrack
    January 1, 2021
    Yesterday, I had to work until 7:30 pm by myself. I was the only one in the building. Because it was quiet, because there was time, something settled into me. I thought about how, for the first time, I was heading into a new year where Alex wouldn’t be heading. Alex and I have been…
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  • Recent Life Told Through Pictures
    December 8, 2020
    These two yutes convinced me to color their hair blue. Cooking on Thanksgiving... What were we cooking? Trump's heart on a silver platter. Oh wait. That couldn't feed a family of 5 Bridget had to do an assignment of what she was thankful for... I'm not crying. You are. Waiting for the bus before ...
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  • F No, I’m a Bona Fide Aquemini (Music Reviews Entry)
    December 3, 2020
    My miserable ass is kind of just lying low on the writing/updating front. Till I'm back on my regular bullshit, I thought I would post some endorsements for current bops I've got in my earbuds this week, as a distraction for myself & maybe some of my friends who read this & are music love...
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  • APOLOGIES
    November 30, 2020
    Rewrite of a poem from a year ago.... APOLOGIES My immense love for you & my constant desire to die are two strangers in the same life boat, rowing hard in opposite directions. And, so, we are building a house made out of blocks even though I am in a state of depressive retroflux. You…
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  • A Theater with No Exits
    November 29, 2020
    three recent dreams, transcribed. this is why i drink at night, to deal with the dread of a theater with no exits... dream i my beautiful boy, my son. you are running a car back and forth on the carpet, like you’re scratching on turntables…like you’re erasing a chalkboard...like you’re god wiping...
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  • My Daughter & the Panhandler
    November 27, 2020
    As many of you know, I write letters to Bridget. I send them to an email account I created for her, along with pictures and song recommendations. When she's 18, I'll give her the password & then she can read all of them. This is one I wrote this morning for her. Dear Bridgeycat, I’m…
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