About me:
I am unfiltered, sarcastic, quick witted, harsh with my tongue, and while those qualities make me less desirable, I love just as hard. I'm soft spoken, I'm reserved, I'm quick to defend.

About my "diary":
She's a messy one. There will be no structure. If you struggle with control; this is not the place for you. If you enjoy a good, messy, soap opera of sorts - then grab your favorite beverage and sit back - you're in for a wild, and hopefully enjoyable ride.

Why now:
I'm hoping to heal and rebuild from infidelity. No reason to hide the elephant in the room. I am the "victim" of infidelity; and writing is my peace, it is my safe space, its non-judgemental, its raw.

⚠️⚠️ A MUST READ ⚠️⚠️
If you are someone that is following from my social media platforms:
1. If you choose to screenshot or share - by all means please do. If you think that these hard conversations/situations are not occuring in home first......

2. There will always be a disclaimer - be sure to include it with the sharing. As with any situation there are 3 (or more) sides to every situation and in this case you are hearing/reading one side - mine. No one else's matters to me.

Latest Entry

March 21, 2025

March 22, 2025
One month since the affair was exposed. Until you are grieving you don't realize just how long a month can feel.  I felt like I endured a year within a 30-31 day time frame.  There were days when I didn't realize one had passed, sometimes the minutes turned into hours and I couldn't tell you…
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Recent Entries

  • My Circus, My Monkeys
    March 21, 2025
    Now that I'm sharing more and the situation is becoming sticky I figured I'd explain my style of writing and the purpose behind this "diary". _________________________________________________ By now if you've been following along you will see that whenever I reference the mistress in any context ...
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  • A Love I Love to Hate
    March 21, 2025
    One minute I love you. One minute I hate you. Is that what twenty years does or is that what narcissistic love does. Since the first day that your affair was exposed you have acted like it is water under the bridge, like cats out of the bag so we can move on. I can't…
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  • Asset 5
    Another Brick in the Wall
    March 20, 2025
    Music has been my therapy the past month.  I have turned to YouTube to select the fate of my day. Some days it sets me up for success and I'm able to function. Others, it wants me to heal and I spend the day inwardly reflecting and there's tears - a lot of tears. Music…
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  • Asset 5
    Thinkin’ Bout Me
    March 20, 2025
    Has there ever been a song that you can listen to and each time you hear it from a different perspective - or you can feel it from another standpoint than your own? Today YouTube was working its magic and played "Thinkin' Bout Me" by Morgan Wallen - only it was the lyrical version. I…
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  • I’m The Problem
    March 18, 2025
    Morgan Wallen....man his lyrics hit deep. To the core. I heard this song and it broke me. The harsh reality of the "If I'm so awful then why'd you stick around so long"........ And it got me thinkin' If I'm the problem You might be the reason Try to go our separate ways We're back…
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  • Asset 5
    I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
    March 18, 2025
    I know why the caged bird sings.... -No, I actually don't.  I didn't read the poem - or is it a book. But if I were back in high school English and the essay topic was "Describe what the phrase 'I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings' means and how can it relate to you"…
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  • Mindfuckery of Sorts
    March 18, 2025
    I find myself asking the question "Why" so often now.  Whether it is aloud, amidst silent sobs, or silently like a broken record controlling my thoughts.... That and "what the fuck" So many times I find myself coming here to type a few words, hit delete, type a few more, delete again - to walk&he...
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  • Remember When
    March 17, 2025
    Remember when I was young and so were you And time stood still and love was all we knew You were the first so was I We made love and then you cried Remember when Remember when we vowed the vows and walk the walk Gave our hearts, made the start, and it was hard…
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  • Never Wanted To Be That Girl
    March 16, 2025
    Completely self explanatory: I heard about those women who didn't have a clue The ones that made excuses like my mama used to do And he jumps in the shower just as soon as he gets home And I spend half an hour goin' through his phone I never wanted to be that girl I…
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