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Mama

December 8, 2022
For the first time in forever it is so comforting to talk to her. In the past it was so unsafe though because as soon as I opened my heart I exposed myself to a wound and that could be so dangerous. Today I find myself getting so anxious when she even takes a munute…
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Recent Entries

  • Anaheim
    December 8, 2022
    Dear Taylor, I am so listless today. There is not much I want to do except eat a real meal and I don't know for sure how to get that without feeling both robbed and violated by something non-consensually put into my food, which has happened waaay too often lately, and I even still have…
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  • Kissing in schools
    December 8, 2022
    I slept deeply, almost too deeply, and I feel a little strange and I am really hoping I can get a new sleep mask to come as soon as possible. I think maybe part of the reason I feel strange is that unfortunately I got a non-smoking room that ended up having a significant odor…
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  • Dear Stargirl
    December 8, 2022
    Dear Stargirl, I feel like it is going to take lifetimes to recover from the horrors of the last few days but so much more than that, too, to recover from the trauma of not having a mother who could be here for me for so long. I can't even begin to make sense of…
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  • Security (Lovers in a Dangerous Time)
    December 5, 2022
    Dear Taylor, I never thought this before but I think I feel safest living in some upper level apartment in some kind of residential tower with really good security. Right now I am so tired of moving around and want a place I can stay in for a year without having to worry. It is…
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  • There’s no place like home
    December 4, 2022
    Dear Taylor and Sarah, I cannot believe I am lying in a bed right now and feeling, what's the word, safe! I am almost apologetic that the first thing I did upon arrival is take off all my clothes and walk awkwardly on the sides of my feet to the shower, but why should I…
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  • Hey Soul Sister
    December 4, 2022
    Dear Taylor, Hopefully and I pray I am finally almost at a safe place where I can rest for a few days. So much money has been stolen from me in all sorts of different ways. Last time it was when I accidentally ordered chili cheese fries forgetting that of course chili has meat in…
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  • Mexico, beaches, and the law
    December 4, 2022
    Now that I am safely away from Mexico (which may not be a safe place to go for a bit for what may be obvious if you are following closely) there is something I want to mention that I did not feel safe saying while I was there. One of the great things about the…
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  • Grand Prairie
    December 4, 2022
    Dear Taylor, I am in Grand Prairie. I will be fine, I just had to process that heaviness, and I may not be able to walk and may have to check into a hospital when I get to where I am going... which is fine, I am just so astounded that, having gone through so…
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  • Pain
    December 4, 2022
    Dear Taylor, I am still so many miles from Nashville and everything in snd around my body hurts in a new unbearable way, these feet that feel like they have been stabbed over and over my knives, the chaffing on my butt (oh godI got so many anal related threats in CA, please no, dear…
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