Monday 5/9/22

6:00am I started to read/listen to Gwendy’s  Magic Feather by Richard Chizmar. This is the second volume in the Gwendy Button Box trilogy by Stephen King and Richard Chizmar. The main character in this story, Gwendy Peterson, is from the fictional town of Castle Rock, Maine. When she was a teenager Gwendy was given a gift from a mysterious stranger. It was a button box. Her adventures with this thing is told in the first volume of the series. Now, in Magic Feather, Gwendy is a successful author and congresswoman. The button box, long discarded , is back in her life.

It is a good story so far. I am listening to the audio version and reading it at the same time. I think I have a new book addiction, audiobooks. I find it very relaxing to listen to someone read to me. I can sit back and just escape into the story. But I also like to  read. On my Amazon Kindle app I can do both at the same time. I get the best of both worlds.

I started this book last night. I listened for about ninety minutes. Then two very nice aides put me to bed at 11:30 I was glad to get out of my wheelchair. I must of been tired by then because I slept good. I also got good care from them because they came back at night to change me when I had that one accident. They came back at five to get me up in the morning.

I wonder how Chocolatechip is doing. I wish there was some way I could get in touch with her. Not being able to hear her voice or chat with her is killing me. Even though I know she is in a safe place I worry about her. I hope to hell she can recover and get out of Overbrook. I hope to hell we can be a part of each other’s lives. I even hope that somehow we can see each other again.

But I cannot dwell or obsess over this. I have ulcers and this constant stress and worry will only worsen my condition. As they say what will be will be. Our ultimate fate as a couple is out of my hands. My job I is to take care of myself as best I can or I won’t be good to anyone

8:01am  I had French toast for breakfast and a banana. I couldn’t eat the hot cereal because I had no sugar. The coffee was hot. I also had oj and a glass of chocolate milk. Breakfast was good but for some reason did not cheer me up. My mood took a sudden shift downward. Right now I feel so lost, depressed and alone. I feel like there is nobody who cares if I live or die.

I do not know what brought on this state. It just hit me while waiting for breakfast. I was wondering about Chocolatechip. I was thinking about what she was doing and if she is ok. I was wondering if she got her meds and how the staff at Trinity is treating her. Then I felt very bad for her. Also felt helpless because I cannot help her. I guess these thoughts brought on the depression.

There is nothing I can do about it. I don’t know the number. She doesn’t have access to a phone anyway. I calling the hospital but they wouldn’t give out information. There is no way I can contact her and this sucks big time. I tried and did what I could. It didn’t amount to a hill of beans but I tried.

Fuck this . I’m going to go get lost in my book.

6:54pm I had physical therapy this morning. This time it was Darla who came for me. I didn’t do very well First, I did standing exercises. I had a hard time getting up from my wheelchair and reaching for the bar. I only stood on my right leg because I couldn’t straighten my left leg. Anyway I did three stands. I was barely able to do that much After that we worked on leg exercises. I was able to work my right leg but not the left without causing excruciating pain.

I felt bad because I couldn’t do all my exercises. Darla said I did pretty good but I told her I feel like a wimp. I did !inking and marching exercises on my right leg. Then we were done . While taking me back to my room Darla was telling me that I’m done with Scott and occupational therapy. She said I have a week more of pt and will be done by Monday. I said what happenens next?Nothing. I won’t be leaving the Home.

This was when Darla started to stress knee replacement surgery. She went on that I will feel so much better. She said I’m only 70 and she knows I do not want to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. I have a lot of years left in me. I said I don’t feel that way. I said my time is about over and ok feel I don’t have have that much longer to go. She said nonsense.

Chocolatechip called me when I got back in my room. I was glad to hear from her. We talked briefly. I could tell that she sounded a hundred percent better. She said she did feel better. I asked how much longer she said a couple more days then it is back to Overbrook. Chocolatechip says she wants to stay there for the time being. I said I would like to go see you get the hell out of that place. But for the time being Overbrook will be her home.

I started to read Gwendy’s Magic Feather. I read/listened until lunch. I had fish, hash brown, green beans for lunch. They gave !e a cup of hot coffee and a glass of fruit punch. I felt a lot better after talking to Chocolatechip and eating a good meal. I went back to my book and listened until I finished it. Next up is Gwendy’s Final Task by Stephen King and Richard Richard Chizmar.

I had a good supper. I had ham and pinto beans, cornbread and peas. I had a homemade cake for desert. I had a fruit punch and a cup of coffee for drinks. Chocolatechip called right after supper.We talked a bit longer. Then we szid our good night.

Morning didn’t start out good but I had a decent day. Depression cleared up thanks to Chocolatechip, good meals, a good book and meds. Going to go read for awhile then hit the sack.