Wednesday 5/24/23

9:27a.m.  I am having a typical morning. Aides got me up at 5:30. I slept in my wheelchair until breakfast. I had the usual toast, scrambled eggs, oatmeal and coffee. I slept some more until aides came to change me. I made my way to the Fiesta Room where they have the coffee socials.I’m having a good morning. Mood is stable. I’m in minimum pain. I’m getting decent care. I had a good night’s sleep.  Life is good.

I talked briefly with Chocolatechip. She had a good night. Chocolatechip said she bis ready for inspection. She wants to do one more load of laundry. The trouble is none of the machines are accepting quarters.  Chocolatechip said she did not have any trouble with diahrea. I’m glad things are looking up for her.

One thing is bothering me. I can’t seem to keep a tv remote. I just got one a couple days ago. Then someone took it from me. Just because I don’t play the tv 24/7 they think I don’t watch it. I never did like to have it on all the time. But there are a few shows I’d like to watch such as the news and Dr Phil. Oh well, I’m not letting this ruin my day. 

I’m going to think positive today. I am going to  get into my book Simply Lies by David Baldacci. I am almost halfway through it. It is really very good. I hope to finish it  in three days but I’ll be glad to see it end. 

They are having morning exercise now. I’m not participating. Im just sitting in my wheelchair typing in my journal. Here is a picture of a pretty lady leading the group:. 

Poop, it didn’t come out very well. I didn’t post it. 

11:22a.m. I’m still at the social. I had two coffees and a donut. I’m having a good time down here. I’m staying for lunch. I don’t have a menu so I ido now know what they are serving. I didn’t have too many snacks so I’ll be hungry. 


Here is a picture of the Fiesta Room. It will soon be crowded for the lunch. I can’t wait for lunch.

12:58p.m. I had pork and pinto beans, pan fried potatoes, broccoli, cornbread and jello for desert. I ate everything but the pinto beans. I had then take me back to my room after I ate

I had a good time at the social. I heard or thought I heard my name mentioned once. That didn’t bother me at all. I turned out the noise and just enjoyed my lunch. I’m proud of myself. I think I’m getting better and better with being around people.

I haven’t seen Scott from PT.  I hope I don’t have therapy today. For some reason I can’t or won’t do the exercises.Thisbis not good because my legs could become completely useless. Like I say you have to use it or lose it. I thought ink I’m just too far gone or just don’t care anymore. That’s ok I would rather sit on my lazy butt and read books anyways. 

Speaking of books I’m going to read Simply Lies by David Baldacci this afternoon. This is such a good book! I give it a five star rating. I want to read and read  this  sucker and find out how it ends. I think I have it figured out but the author it is hard to say. The author is throwing in so many twits to keep the reader guessing. It really is a great story.


This is a picture of my new room. 

2:21p.m. The above picture is what I have to show for the end of my days. My SS check goes towards a bed and a roof over my head. I also get three meals a day, internet, phone and tv service. So I guess it isn’t a bad deal. I guess I should consider myself lucky I’m not homeless. I just wish I had control of my check so I could buy books and subscribe to the New York Times.

I was talking to Chocolatechip earlier. I was saying Stephen King is coming out with a new book and John Grisham. I said I’d give almost anything to be able to buy these books. My birthday is coming up next month but I wasn’t trying toj plant ideas in her head. I was just expressing myself.

Chocolatechip lives on a fixed income herself. She did say something about trying to get me in a an Amazon gift card for my birthday. But I could not live with myself if she has to do without. I told her I don’t want you spending money on a birthday present. I also said you have a hard enough time making it through the month. 

We also talked about the building inspection that starts tomorrow. Chocolatechip is ready. She plans on laying out her supplies for tomorrow this afternoon.  She plans on going to bed early at 5 and get up at 3. Chocolatechip will then do some last minute cleaning and go through her usual routine She plans to be ready for then when they start at nine.

I wished her good luck. I went on to sayingu I’m sure re you will pass with flying colors. She said thanks. Chocolatechip did everything to get ready but she was kind of worried. I went on you probably do more than most people in that place to get ready. You did everything you could and then some. I said you have nothing to fear.

I went on about my own trials with inspection. I ight not have always passed but at least I did my best. Chocolatechip said I was always clean. She also said they want everything neat and organized. That was my downfall I said. Being neat and orderly were never my strong points.

3:27p.m. I was sitting in my wheelchair relaxing and talking to Chocolatechip. All of a sudden I get a letter from the nursing home. It said I owed them a total of $1409.00. I was very pissed. The last time I talked with billing they told me my SS is coming directly to the nursing home. They will take the money and pay the current rent plus the back balace.

In short I was working under the assumption that I had set up a payment plan But the letter went on to say they will turn me into a collection agency if I do not respond in ten days they will turn it over to collection agency. 

I was very upset and angry. I managed to get to billing.i showed them the letter. They told me they send out a form letter to anyone who owes back pay ent. This time she said the nursing home is getting their money and I have no worries. I do not trust billing at all so we shall see.

Now I’m upset. Just when I thought my financial problems with the nursing home were being taken care of this shit happens. I will worry about it and it will get me upset. It seems like it never ends and I have problems with my bill every damned month. This is just plain bullshit if you ask me. 

Chocolatechip said try not to worry. It is easier said than done. She is right.Worrying will only make me upset. Chocolatechip said they can’t throw me out on the street. That would be elderly abandonment. Nursing home iself said not to worry. I trust Chocolatechip but wouldn’t put it past this place to kick me out. Then I’d really be screwed. 

6:27p.m. I got very very depressed thinking about all the money I owe to the nursing home and credit cards. I’ll never be able to pay back all the money I owe. I kept asking myself what in the hell was I thinking? I must of been on some kind of death wish or something. Like ok. Here I am in a nursing home. I don’t have much longer to go so I might get some enjoyment in life while I still can

I had some momentary thoughts of hurting myself. But there is no possible way of doing that. I could try strangling myself with my oxygen tubing. But I know that would not be a good idea. There is no possible way of harming myself. Perhaps it is a good thing I’m in here. For all its faults the home is a safe place.

I might want to die but I don’t want to go out hungry. I ate my supper of two slices of cheese pizza, cucumber salad and cookies for desert. I had one coffee and one glass of lemonade. I didn’t have much of an appetite but I forced it down. I didn’t enjoy the pizza as much as I love it. 

Well another day is coming to a close. Despite the very foul mood I’m in I’m staying up to read my book. I’m hoping getting lost in a good mystery will help me forget my troubles. Reading usually does calm me down and puts me in a good mood. So I plan on getting lost in Simply Lies by David Baldacci. 

Despite everything it is good to be alive. I am not going to do anything stupid. 

8:39p.m. I managed to read my book for ninety minutes . I read about forty pages Author threw in more plot twists grabbing my interest. Getting involved with me my book helped mle sphill and forget about my financial follies. I feel much better. 

I took a break from reading. I went to the lounge. Here is a picture of the lounge


Here is a picture of the nurse’s station:


So much for roaming around the hall and taking pictures. I also had a pbj sandwich while out and about. Reading and eating have put me in a better mood. Break is over it is back to my books.

















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4 days ago

Please get the thoughts of hurting yourself out of your head.  I agree with Chocolatechip…no amount of worrying will change the situation and the worrying is only hurting you.

I’m glad you are enjoying your book so much.  I will have to read that one sometime.

4 days ago

@happyathome Thanks Don’t worry I’m not doing anything stupid

4 days ago

@bear70 That’s good…I would be very sad if you were gone.  I enjoy reading your updates every day.