It is 8am. I just had a nice breakfast of bacon and scrambled eggs with hot oatmeal. I had coffee and chocolate milk for drinks. Had an accident while eating breakfast. Not being able to control your bladder is very humiliating. I should be used to it by now but I’ll never be able to get over this. Other than that my morning is going great.
My girlfriend Chocolate Chip called. She sounded ok. She was telling me somebody knocked on her door last night around nine. It is a form of harassment. They don’t want anything because they know she goes to bed early. This person, and we know who it might be, just wants to give her a hard time.
I miss Chocolatechip. I haven’t seen her since I came to this nursing home. She doesn’t drive or have a car so she cannot visit. We talk a lot on the phone and FB Instant Messenger. It I miss her very much. I get so lonesome here with nobody to talk with. Sometimes I wonder if we will ever see each other again.
I wonder about a lot of things I wonder if I will get out of this place. My progress doesn’t look very good. I cannot walk for one thing. Heck, I can’t make it to the bathroom without help or get in and out of bed. Then there is the peeing issue. I keep thinking how in the heck can I manage if pee all the time and can’t make it to the bathroom. I don’t know, I guess I’m feeling sorry for myself.
I am really trying to keep up a good attitude. A positive arttitude is half the battle. I remind myself of the positives:
1. I have a roof over my head and live in a clean environment.
2 I’m getting good care.
3 I have insurance that pays for most of the cost.
4 Cost includes food, cable, phone, med and even free WiFi.
5 More important I still have avwonderful girlfriend.
6 I have access to my books and can read all I want.
Right of the bat I can think of six positives in my life. Still, I miss living independently. I never thought I’d say this but I miss OT. I miss hanging with my girlfriend. I miss my old life that I probably will not see again