I have this annoying quirk

I have this quirk in seeing the good in people before I see the bad. I judge u by ur heart n not ur actions. N I continue to believe n the good in u before I allow the bad to absorb my perceptions. Maybe that’s when it hurts the absolute most when I start to realize the bad shit ain’t normal because me, myself would NEVER do people the way some people do me or other’s for that matter. I know that when someone chooses to do some wrong hateful ass shit…i try n focus on their heart n why they do what they do. I give chances to so many because I just know n my heart that they have good some where in theirs…or I HOPE that they do. (IRONIC SINCE I DON’T TRUST PEOPLE…I’M A TRUE OXYMORON TO MYSELF)!

Maybe that’s truly why I will never be truly happy n a relationship…because I choose to focus on ur goods rather then what I’m being shown by ur actions!  Damn…I’m confused after re-reading the shit I write! I’m like…WAIT…WHAAAAA? *insert perplexed expression on my face…scratches temple*

So back to my annoying quirk…why do I do this to myself? Why do I refuse to see what’s shown to me n continue to believe that U have good n u when u have clearly shown me the bad intentions. So for anyone new thst comes into my life…I have no trust because I done trusted to see the good n u but only have been hurt by the bad so now I’m on HIGH GUARD for any one else that tries to penetrate my walls! 


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October 11, 2018

You’re not broken, you’ve just gone through stupid people shit and it takes a lot to let your guard down…. don’t beat yourself up. It’s better to be too guarded then get stamped on again 😘