In my own life and the lives of those close to me, as well as one of my very Favorite OD’er on this board…I find myself surrounded by an ocean of suffering and pain, most of it inflicted on these unwilling recipients by other peoples pain, rejection, and just general shitty decisions…
The worst part is that we just beat the crap out of ourselves for damage inflicted on us by others…and then sadly we repeat the same mistakes because in our misery and pain we just end up doing stupid things, either consciously or not…the worst part is when we pass on to our children and those we love the same habits and traits…the cycle continues…The bible describes how a man’s sin can be reaped by his children to the 3rd and 4th generation…I have always understood this not as God’s judgement (because I have studied God and His nature is loving not wrathful!) but because it is an principle that we reap what we sow…
But is that really our only option? To just pass on the shittiness to those we love or sometimes even worse swing the pendulum so far the other way we end up passing on another kind of misery?
As for me…I don’t think thats my option..I choose to fight..to rise the fuck up everyday…I recognize that I’ve got some issues that are like weights…traps i’ve stepped in, things that bind me..but like a wolf I will chew my fucking leg off to get out of this trap..before I will pass my shit on to my kids…I’d rather move forward missing my diseased and broken parts then spread that pain around..
This day the sun rose…and it will tomorrow..and the day after..and I choose this day to let go of part of yesterday..just part not all of it!
With Much Warmth and Joy
-Beauty for Ashes!