Respect to every mom…holy crap i had no idea!

Soo… two days a week I watch my GF’s boys until she gets home from school,  she is usually home by 10:00pm  and I usually am able to pick them up by 5pm but sometimes as late as 5:45pm…her boys are in 3rd grade and 5th grade…the oldest is genius IQ but some issues…the younger is also accelerated…the oldest is smart enough to wreck an Ivy league legal grad student!

I only have to man up two days a week…and these guys just wipe me out…it is like wrestling with octopuses (octopi?) for hours…they just kick my ass…the energy level combined with dazzling intellect ties me in knots…

Right now its 9:32pm and I have at least 25 minutes to go and I’m totally spent…I’ve been grocery shopping, cleaning, folding, sorting, dishes..directing…checking homework…(and I didn’t even cook dinner tonight because Mondays are Chik-fila nights!)  funny thing is I’ve been hitting this shit like a boss since the school year started but every night I finish with the boys I feel like a fucking failure…just totally wrung the hell out…

I can only think…how the fuck is it even possible for a single mom? or  a mom whose husband is clueless?  It is totally overwhelming..just humbles me..

these boys humble me…I’m not broken but I am definitely humbled…I call my mom twice a week now…just to tell her how much I love her…so I have come to the conclusion that there is some kind of female superpower that kicks in when women become Mother…mom, MeMa, MoMai,  Mama,  mommy..whatever the hell it is…I have mad props for every mom out there that just feels like she is holding on with her fingernails…because I only do it two days a week..(and no joke I have a bottle of whiskey in the cupboard and around 45 minutes away from rescue I start hitting that shit!) but you ladies handle day after day week after week year after year!..

To every mom…from a totally humbled man (and I’m a man in every sense of the word, because I have always brought my “A-game” to what matters) you guys totally rock!  Don’t lose faith that what you are doing matters…because it totally does!  …..

My respect for every mom that is truly pouring it out into her kids is immense..

Anyways this video is dedicated to my GF but also every mom out there!!!

Sweetest and warmest thoughts from the deepest part of the Heart of the South!

—Beauty for Ashes




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September 30, 2019

I had an ex who was totally useless…To get him to be a dad like you was like pulling my eye teeth out.  I wish there were more dads like you.

Question? Do you live with these boys and their mother or what?  If I am asking a personal question and you don’t think it’s any of my business I do understand.

October 3, 2019


Jay,  I do not live with my GF’s family,  I am a little old fashioned about it,  they will on the weekends stay at my apartment if it works out, because there is lots to do (mostly they like the swimming pool) and that there is dedicated space set up for them at the apartment (I set up a media room for the boys which is like boy heaven!)

I think at their age the routine is critical and the oldest has some serious issues related to prior neglect and just being who he i try to just introduce the most stability and normality to their situation..

What has been hardest for me and also most surprising is that I fell in love with the boys,  that was a surprise to me…I knew I was falling in love with “HER” but the realization that I really and deeply loved the boys was a shocker…it was a literal “Oh shit!” moment…

I spend lots of time with the family, in fact, my GF and I have had literally only had 2 dates without the boys in 16 weeks…though we do get to spend lunch or sometimes early mornings..

My favorite time of all with them is Saturday morning..cause I can pray for her without her being awake and just is the best of the best!

October 3, 2019

@beautyforashes so is there a wedding in the horizon?  Just wondering….

October 3, 2019


The future we treasure and hold in our hearts has a wedding in it…is that part of our reality now?  No…it is really messed up,  but it works like this…She is separated from her husband but she and her husband never did his paperwork for his legal status as a US Permanent resident (green-card) even though married for 10 years it just never seemed important, then party-mode, then hate..etc etc..they just never did it…but I have asked her to really power through the paperwork and stay married until its done.. dad split when 9 years old and it sucked…and I want these boys to at least have the chance of having a relationship with their Dad,  I never want the reason these boys don’t know their biological dad to be because I was in a hurry and didn’t want to wait for paperwork, or that I didn’t want to pay for the legal fees…

I don’t like or respect her ex-husband…but I respect and love the kids enough to make the chance of a relationship with their dad..since he has moved out he is averaging 36 hours of contact with his boys per month…wow…


But Wedding Plans?  The second the paper-work comes through I am gonna be on my knees asking for her hand in marriage!

In the next 5 weeks I am hoping I get the opportunity to ask her parents permission to date her..(I know that I should have asked but they don’t know we are dating and I think that its proper to ask their permission even though she is 30+ and doesn’t live under their roof…)

I am hoping for the paperwork to be complete within the next 9-11 months!!

October 3, 2019

@beautyforashes I wish my ex was like you but the guy I have now is much like you and he has even met my parents.  He is the only guy I have introduced to my parents and they really like him.  And if the tax laws here wasn’t so screwed up he would marry me in a second.  But the truth be told we are together now for more then 12 years so we figure that is good enough.  And my parents don’t think it’s a good idea to get married because we didn’t have any kids and my son is on his own.

I think you are a true gentleman and I admire your ways.  I wish every guy who loved his girlfriend would be like you.

Too bad you can’t hurry up the paper work…now that would be really cool…..

September 30, 2019

Just remember this entry. Protect your lady and yourself from more children unless or until you are both able to cope. Try being a single mother (in your sixties) with a neurological disorder, taking care of your beloved 18 yr old autistic son on $1000 a month. I dare ya. LOL

October 1, 2019


October 2, 2019

Thank you! I find myself overwhelmed at times with a totally involved husband (though he does travel a bit for work). It’s not for the faint of heart!