11/03/2012

Up so early can’t sleep I woke up benny because I thought someone was lurking around the house turns out it was the neighbor coming in from a fishing trip. The baby is kicking my insides hardcore and it feels like contractions but I’m not sure…

A look back I never been to vocal about my pregnancies online partly because I was off doing other things. My first pregnancy began early 2011 with me slumped over the toilet and me eating several hundred anti acids not knwoing what my problem was for two weeks. I lost a signifigant amount of weight due to me not eating and me puking more than ten times a day…a trip to the er confirmed I was pregnant dehydrated with gastritis…

It got worse. After being rehydrated by ivs I was back by the toilet plastic bags filled with puke slung our then apartment crying to ben about how I felt. While he was off to work I was puking. Then I had a huge blood gush coming from below, there was some pain a lot of tissue and bloodall over the futon. I called ben while he was driiving to work screaming for him to carry me to the hospital. The ambulance transfered me over. By the time ben got there the drs told it was a huge miscarriage. They took me over to ultrasound while I bled out uncontrolably.

The tech found a baby. I was carrying twins lost one. I spent the night in the hospital and when we came home to the futon. There was my mess. A big mess tissue the paramedics never picked up. My sons twin laying there on the futon covered in blood clots. we ddnt know what to do.

Tbc…