Nasty Boyz

I just did my audition. I had the same reader from a previous, disastrous audition. I don’t like him much. I remember I asked his opinion on my audition. And his response was, “um, you didn’t pay for coaching so I cannot comment.”
I didn’t asked him for coaching; I just asked if he liked my audition.

What really pissed me off was how this reader didn’t tell me I was forgetting a line in the script. It’s so easy to say, “hey you remembered the two sentences the first take but now you keep forgetting those lines.”

So basically he took my money for my self taping, just to not let me know I didn’t fully say my lines. He was reading the script along with me and never mentioned it once!

For those who don’t know, when actors get auditions, they now have to do a self tape. This means they have to set up their own lighting, microphone, backdrop, find a reading partner, etc.

Before the pandemic, actors would get an audition notice and then told an address and time to arrive to meet with the casting director. Now, actors can either see this as a positive or negative. On one hand, you get to mess up as many times as you want and get to see how you look on camera afterwards. On the other hand, not meeting the casting director means you have to do all the leg work of setting up, recording, editing and doing everything all on your own.

I bought the ring lights, I use my iPhone to record, but I don’t have a backdrop yet…it costs like $200. I’m god awful at editing, but in LA you can have someone tape your audition for you in exchange for payment.

But back to my reader today… He was rude because he kept making sharp inhalations & exhalations when I asked him to view my audition video(you are allowed to do so). And, he kept checking his watch, which total is a distraction. When I left he said bye, but I didn’t say bye in return. I felt like a total bitch for not saying bye back. I’m too sensitive because I felt like I was rude. But he’s always rude to me so why should I act like everything is okay when it’s not??

I wished I would have said bye back to that mean bitch ass…it’s always better to kill ‘em’ with kindness than being rude back. I’ll do better next time. If anything, it toughens my auditioning skills to not let outside influences affect my concentration.

I feel superficial saying this but, we had to also take pictures of our body, side profiles, and head shot. Every picture I hated. I thought I had fat arms, I looked short, and my face had too many wrinkles. I don’t want to grow old. Where’s Kim Kardashians plastic surgeon when you need him or her!.. I should appreciate everything about getting older and I do, except the part of looking older.

I have to get ready to go to studio to meet with El DeBarge. I don’t want to go. It’s really cold outside. I don’t want to leave my bed, and I’m
not feeling too confident.

I just called my mom and dad and they were like: “Girl, you better go! This could be your opportunity for help with your music! I was like OK, you’re right, I’ll go. I’m already going to be late though by 15 to 30 minutes. I better go now to get ready. Thank you for reading until the end…

Wait…not done yet. I’m in studio now waiting for his beige ass to get here. He sounded sweet over the phone and apologized and said he’ll be here in 15 minutes. Well, it’s been over an hour & 30 min…and I’m still here waiting in an empty room. I want to leave to be honest. He asked if I could be on his Instagram live. I was like, “hell nah!…(in my head)…but instead, I gave a meek “yeah, okay.”

A woman has a right to change her mind so I’ll most likely say “no”. So here I am, wasting an hour & 30 minutes of my life away, just twiddling my thumbs. Would you wait around for El DeBarge or would you leave?…I’m about to leave….

Fast forward to 5 hours later…

I’m now in bed. I am dog tired. I look actually tired. This is why I’m most likely asexual. Most of the men I’ve met (except for Shervin) all steal my beauty from all the games they play. On the way home from the studio, El DeBarge texted me (not called) to say he just made it to the studio. Keep in mind that he told me it would only take 15 minutes which turned into 2 effin’ hours!!! I know people, y’all probably wondering why I waited that long. But he did mention something about his 85 year old mom, and I thought something bad may have happened.

He never gave any explanation as to why it took so long. Then I text him that I’ll see him when I return to LA, and that I’m a great songwriter that would love to work when I return. And you know what he asked next?…

This beige ninja had the audacity to ask if he could visit me at my spot later that night!!! I swear on everything he asked that. I was so disappointed in him. How could he think it was okay to have me waiting that long then later want to come into my home, late at night!!!??

Like no way. I text him that I’m leaving on a 5am flight tomorrow and I have to pack tonight. He didn’t respond back. I’m not really leaving until another 24 hours. I just don’t want to see him.

You know if I were a fan, which he probably thinks I am…he would have crushed my feelings. I remember I met Ginuwine when I was 16(I snuck in House of Blues in New Orleans). He was way older than me at the time…probably almost 40. Ginuwine was also married at that time.

That man had me pulled to his backstage area by his manager. I thought I was special because there were plenty of beautiful women already in his dressing room, but the manager ordered everyone out.

As I was walking out too, he said, “no you stay, Ginuwine wants you.” I was so excited and nervous. Ginuwine came from stage and his body was dripping with sweat. He took off his shirt and asked me to sit on his lap, so I did. He told me that I had some nice lips and asked me if I knew what to do with my lips. He proceeded to unzip his pants. I ran out quickly; I don’t remember how his penis looked. From that moment, I never EVER listened to a Ginuwine song again. Eff’ Ginuwine & Eff’ El DeBarge & eff’ all the men who are effin’ gross. Goodnight.

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