I am not perfect, never have been, never will be. I am trying to get rid of the guilt. The guilt i feel about not having a better relationship with my sisters and father, the guilt around my failed relationships, the guilt over my weight. That is a big one. If you have read my past posts you know I have struggled and am struggling. My brain was taught wrong when it comes to food. I have overcome a lot, lost over 100lbs, but i still need to lose 75-80 lbs more. and I am struggling! I know how to do it, but i have turned myself into an addict. Food is my crack.
Admitting this has been so hard. I need to retrain my brain. No more good and bad days. Just eat, what you want, when you want. The key is how much. Today i wanted chocolate, so I had a candy bar. And you know what? I do not feel guilty. I will go for a walk on my lunch in a few minutes and I will work out when I get home from work. It is so hard to lose the guilt. That freak out moment of “I have eaten so well today! Why did I ruin it with a candy bar?” But it is not bad! Its a damn candy bar! So I do a little more exercise today.
I am not perfect, not every day will be good. But I have to learn to stop dwelling on this.