Just wondering…

I’ve been doing a lot of big thinking lately. It’s been kind of an antisocial week for me, so I’ve spent lots of isolated time just considering things that I don’t usually consider. I’m also trying to read more, like, deep books and I think it’s affecting me a tad.

Today I was wondering, how does one know if they even have a good personality? I hear so much about how much you should put character and personality over looks, etc. And, of course, I agree. It’s encouraging to think this way. But I was thinking today… what if you personality doesn’t do a lot for you either? I mean, I feel like I know a lot of people whose personalities just grate on me. If I had a bad personality, I don’t think I’d be aware of it.

Of course, I feel witty and charming and lovely when I’m with friends and family. Does this define personality? Because I’m completely different around strangers and acquaintances. I suppose that’s true for everyone, though. And even when I am feeling witty, etc, how could I tell if other people think so too?

I recently met someone on an 8-hour flight. I could tell he was talkative (and I was definitely not feeling up to 8 hours of conversation) so I was pretty unresponsive when he started conversation with me. I kind of felt bad for him, having to sit next to someone so unwilling to really talk. But he just turned around to the person on his other side and started talking with them! I was in awe of his friendliness. It intimidated me so much, but also made me admire him. It’s crazy how people can just do that with strangers. I really am in awe.

I got more responsive as the flight went on, and it actually turned out we have a lot in common. We talked about books and movies and plans for the future. We even watched a movie together. But I have to say—it was completely thanks to him. If he hadn’t started talking, I never would’ve reached out. Ever.

I think he has a really good personality. And I am nothing like him. I mean, I know that there are a myriad of “good” personalities out there, so it doesn’t really mean anything that mine and his are different. But still. I want to be like that!

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March 31, 2022

I’m like a golden retriever, loud, friendly and will talk your ear off if let. 🙂

April 15, 2022

I’ve always dreamed of being able to easily talk to strangers as though they were friends but this does NOT come naturally to me. I also admire people who do this.

I think that our personalities can only really be measured by those who love us – our family and friends. And I think that a good or bad personality is really a very subjective topic. I can EASILY tell you that my mother in law thinks I have a bad personality, whilst my myriad friends/acquaintances would say otherwise 🙂

 

April 18, 2022

@sayda I like this idea! You’re so right about it being entirely subjective. It is encouraging to measure personality through those who love you.

October 15, 2022

I think you’re right there are tons of different personalities out there. There’s nothing wrong with one or the other. It’s also okay to want to be more like one personality than another! Just don’t beat yourself up for not being a certain way. I used to do that, wishing I could easily make conversation with anyone like some people seem to do. I’ve grown into myself more, and with time I’ve begun to love who I am. It’s interesting that now that confidence has made socialization easier for me when I used to have so much anxiety.