Baby I’ve been trying….nothing seems to cover up the pain

I had such a hard time sleeping last night. I ended up not going to bed until 3 am.. was back up around 630.. couldn’t sleep. I decided to get up and head into town early to get a good parking spot for breakfast at my favorite place. The sad thing is… today I was rather disappointed in the food and service. I probably won’t be going back there for a little while.

I came back home after that and tried to sleep.. I can’t fucking sleep with the people above me throwing fucking parties all fucking weekend.. with all these stupid little kids dropping shit… running around. I am glad that I pay 1,000 a month for this little place and no peace and quiet. I am ready to lose my fucking shit. Why does this have to happen to me?

I went to the gym today. I cycled 5 miles and did 5 miles on the elliptical. Some guy came up to me and told me to keep up the good work. I have nothing better to do than destroy my body at the gym anymore.

No friends.. no men worth my time.

I have literally given up on everyone… and the funny thing is… It doesn’t really hurt that bad… and I really don’t care at all.

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January 1, 2019

Did you believe that last little bit?

January 2, 2019

@darkzymphony The part where I said that I gave up on everyone..? Or the part where I don’t care? haha

January 6, 2019

your last sentence sings to me.

“it doesn’t really hurt that bad and i really don’t care at all”

poetic in its denial.