Being a slut was fun… WHAT?! *e
Sometimes I think I dress like a cutter.
I wear my sweater all day and I rarely show my arms.
Then, in my crazy brain, I thought "Oh… what if I am a cutter and I block it out and don’t know it on a conscious level?!"
yeah, no, and yeah.
to any questions in your head.
so I’m making the huge mistake of reading some older entries when I was all man hungry and running around like a total lunatic sleeping with lots of random boys and wow.
I was so slutty.
but that was so fun!
Why is being a slut fun?
Why is that little "I’m gonna chase you so I can get into your pants" game so enthralling?
I am by no means in the mood to go back and do that… but remembering it was fun.
I scored some really hot boys.
I keep thinking about Superhottie and RS and the THR and so many others that came BEFORE them.
like wow, i was pretty prolific.
ha ha.
I need to quit.
I’m horny though.
I know I got laid last night, and for most people, that’s enough to quell the hormones. But this week and part of next, there is NO QUELLING. I’m a ravenous sex beast.
I want it at least 3 times a day, and more if possible. I want to be worked so hard and long that it’s difficult to walk and I smell like sex until I shower.
I can always tell when I’m in heat because I notice guys really noticing me. I know it’s the pheremones. I have a giant WAVE of them following me around right now.
I really do wish to have a good make out kissing fest though (I know, I keep wanting this same thing, but me and Baboo don’t KISS and it’s fucking annoying and insanely frustrating when I just want that tenderness and that closeness outside of the sex act and the cuddling after). I wrote this entry about how I made out with a boy for hours on end and it made my stomach turn to lava. I really want a make out session.
Lips glancing across each other, tongues playing back and forth. The fingers that are timid and trembling down skin and the ache of wanting but the sweet delay as you go through the sweet sweet motions of just kissing and learning what bliss feels like from that alone.
yeah.
horny horny horny.
but not slutty slutty slutty.
it’s times like this when I randomly message old booty calls to see if they’ll reply and then I play with them like a cat with an almost dead mouse.
and it’s really not a good idea.
ha ha.
SELF CONTROL, DON’T LEAVE ME NOW!!!
Lunch in 14 minutes.
I have hot wings and toast.
I KNOW THAT’S STRANGE.
But it’s what I have. I just hope the toaster works.
cuz I really want toast.
Not just bread.
TOAST IS AWESOME.
it’s all like… crunchy with melted butter and it’s like "yeah baby, I’m toast. You want a piece of me?"
and i’m like "yeah baby, come over here and melt in my mouth"
and toast is like "damn baby, you know what you want, i like that."
and i’m like "yeah, toast, and I’m gonna get what I want now!!!"
and so on and so forth.
SEDUCTION IS FUN.
I haven’t really seduced baboo in… forever. It’s sorta hard to get into that mode when I know he’s sleepy or tired. But maybe in July when the kids are gone I can get him drunk one night and take advantage of his dropped guard. ha ha!
I know one of my biggest attritbutes in the "dating/ bootycalling" world was that I was confident in what i wanted sexually and I wasn’t afraid to go for it. I guess boys liked that.
at least sometimes.
i think it scared some of them.
or they thought iw as kidding. ha ha!
damn.
sex sex sex.
get out of my head head head.
oh head.
I haven’t been able to give a proper blow job in ages.
Want to hear something strange?
Like, Baboo and I have gotten to this place where me being "sexy" and talking dirty to him and being flirty is almost… weird. Like we are TOO close and TOO comfortable.
it’s lame. One of the reasons I want to get skinny is to sorta… be able to go there and not feel awkward cuz I feel fat and undesirable to him… I dunno.
i should just start being flirty and sexy out of the blue again.
I blame us being such close friends. It has created this sort of wall that makes normal relationshippy things odd at times.
but I’m all about dynamite and c4 and blowing shit up.
BRING IT ON WALL! BRING IT ONNNNNN.
I should go.
I’m just being crazy.
but my best is in the loon.
that makes no sense.
don’t read this.
ahhhh.
*death on toast*
mmm toast.
where the hellaareyou????
So I have to finish my list of boys I want to lick in my bed.
I’ll post that later.
Also, some pics of my cats, because they have been neglected in the picture dept. It’s mainly cuz they don’t SIT STILL long enough to get a picture.
and they’re mean little bitches too. ha ha. I still love them anyway.
So yeah, lunch in THREE MINUTES NOW.
Rock it lil mama, do the jane fonda!
(also, this is the second time I’ve tested the Twitter update function, lets see if it works. It didn’t work the first time. ha ha)
*E: oh, gotta turn off the pop up blocker!
*E2: AND OF COURSE I GET THE FAIL WHALE!!! if you dont’ know what that is, you are blessedly lucky…
You were on the home page. It was exciting.
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Why don’t you and Baboo kiss?! I couldn’t kiss my ex but I hated that. And I hated kissing him. But I love kissing! You guys need to kiss. Maybe you need to role play. Do you ever have honey on toast? Good lord. With some cinnamon in there? GET ME IN THERE.
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Why don’t you and Baboo kiss??
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🙂
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I wish I was on your list of boys you wanted to lick 😉
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…
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I think you SHOULD try and be flirty seductive even if Baboo thinks it’s weird. Josh and I were best friends for almost a year before we actually got together but that has actually made us MORE intimate and attracted to each other… I dunno. Maybe different people are just different. (Haha obviously?) But I just mean that I hope you get your “spark” back. 🙂
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Well…for one, if you really love Baboo the way you say you do, then you won’t have any trouble with self-control at all! And, if going back and reading past entries like that, about yourself, can trigger something like that, then, that…kinda says more then you’re willing to acknowledge! Seems like…something in you isn’t being met, and you’re turning to “your old way of thinking” to
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address that need, and bring attention to it “that way!” You need to address this “kissing and affection issue” with him honey! Otherwise, it MAY very well lead to those “behaviors” exhibiting themselves again! Ryn:
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It must be in the weather or something. I am clawing at the walls here too.
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Lol all this sex talk and all I can think is- ewwwww. only cos I’m on my period and feel super gross. God how do you NOT kiss?? I would die. I’m sorry. I mean that in a good way…? I love you!
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LOL! I’ve done that… gone back in my old entries and was like, “Wow! I remember him… he was hot!” hahaha! Being a slut is fun… if you’re like 19 and can pull that shit off. Like when you don’t even care about committing to someone and you just live in a care free world where nothing can ever go wrong. THEN you get older, and feelings start to get involved and BLAH BLAH BLAH. YADA YADA YADA!!! lol. xoxo<3 Go check out my pics I just posted! 🙂
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GrrrrrrrrrrawrPurrrrrrrrrrrr!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Now I want toast haha and can’t have any cuz I’m at work w no toaster or any bread.
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You’re great. I giggled at least 3.4 times. 🙂
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I hope you get what you need! Later.
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I often wonder if you’ve completely blocked Baboo from your diary….and my conclusion is usually…YES! ;D Has he blocked you from *his*?
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That’s a shame… the making out part is necessary (or at least it is to me)… so much fun… so yummy. Lucky him 🙂
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I like making out forever too. Except for when I don’t. Like if I’m not into it but the girl still is, but she doesn’t know how to kiss and she just rubs her face all over me and I want to shove her on the ground and be like “you’re lame.” Making out always makes me start feeling up and taking off clothes though so… I’m a pervert so its hard to just make out.
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Ryn: Lol. 🙂 Cool.
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*laughs* You’re so evil. And it’s so hot.
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I’m a ravenous sex beast, too. It’s alarming sometimes! but make-out sessions are so funnnn, it feels like you’re 15 again! To be fair, I used to hate make-out sessions with a lot of people, because I got bored but wouldn’t want to be rude and just stop, and either I was a very good kisser, or they were also bored but polite. Ugggghhh, horrible times. But I like it now, because Rich makes me all
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woozy and swoony and fuzzy and lots of other nonsense. And happy. I love toast- it gets me hot, too. nom nom nom buttery delicious goodness. I also get the ‘too close to be flirty’ thing, but I don’t know… I think once you start (and have a couple of drinks in you!) you can… flick the closeness switch off, if that makes sense? maybe.
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I miss being a slut. I’ll tell you, though, I really don’t think that monogamy for a year makes us any less sluts than we were before, we’re just slower sluts. Like, not seeing as much action. Because, deep down, sluts are always sluts. At least I’d like to hope so! 😉 Tom and I don’t kiss. He’s a very hands-off kind of guy and I hate it. Sometimes, I just brush his shoulder or touch him and he – no sh*t – flinches. What a hit to the ego… Mmm. I could go for some toast right now. Hey! Why don’t I? I have sourdough. (you can’t see, but i’m doing the wiggly hypnotist fingers as i say that, and draw out the words really long.) “soooooourrrrrdoooooough.” *wiggles fingers in a hypnotic style*
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love the fact that your first note was a home page reader. hehehehe. boy did that person find a good time to log on!
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i get up in the mornin’ bout six AM, have a little jelly have a little jam, take a piece of bread put it in the slot, push down the lever and the wires gets hot, i get toast. yeah TOAST yeah TOAST now there’s no secret to toasting perfection, there’s a dial on the side and you make your selection, push to the dark or the light and then, if it pops too soon press down again, make toast
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when you said “horny horny horny” and “slutty slutty slutty” I thought of the trash bags “wimpy wimpy wimpy” and “HEFTY HEFTY HEFTY”
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