I hate feeling like this.

I want it to go away.

how did we make progress just to fall back to THIS.

What will his exscuse be?

and how will I swallow it.

swallow it down like an idiot.

my head just hurts.

throbs and pounds and… i just don’t know anymore

why did he do this?


what the hell.

it’s so quiet and lonely and every noise I think it’s him at the door.

but it’s not.

it’s just me alone.

i guess i should just go to bed.

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July 21, 2009
July 21, 2009

(hug) Hopefully things will be clearer (and less painful) in the morning…

July 21, 2009

Oh, hon. I’m sorry. Really. I know it sucks and I know how you hate yourself for looking at the door with hope in your eyes, only to realize that it’s not him – because I’ve been there. I don’t know what time you posted this, so I really hope that there’s some kind of resolution going on right now. It’s 1am my time, so that’s 11 your time…not too terribly late, I guess.

July 21, 2009

Hugs honey. Yes, sleep. Or try. I’m sure it will all make sense in the morning. Ryn: eye is better. Boy is very nice. Its good. I need good.

July 22, 2009

That’s a shitty thing to do to somebody.

July 22, 2009

Motrin.. lots of motrin

July 22, 2009

*hug* I’m sorry, sweetheart

July 22, 2009

….how did he fall back, “into whatever you’re talking about?” The drinking again, you mean?

July 22, 2009