this is how my week starts out

Dear Monday,

Oh you like that don’t you, torturing me. Fine. I’ll see your torture and raise you a punch in the faaaace!

 

Dear Downtown Los Angeles,

Does a fairy come by every day and just pour URINE all over the place? you fucking stink. Like piss. It makes me think this is what it was like in the olden days when people would pour their chamber pots out of the window into the alleys and streets. It smells like a damn toilet and it does NOT make me proud to live and work here. I can’t imagine what people must think when walking down our piss and shit littered streets. We suck. LA, you are a shame, YOU’RE GROSS, and I don’t like you. So there.

 

Dear alarms,

You were like death all 10 times you went off this morning. That’s why I was late. I blame you for your evil noise. why can’t you just gently wake me with kisses and coffee?  ugh.

 

Dear Puppy Ceaser,

You did good not peeing in your crate last night. Lets keep that up now that you’re all clean and shiz.

 

Dear Kitty Roku,

You’re the best. I heard you going after that mouse. Too bad you didn’t catch it. You did however leave a dead one in my dirty clothes pile… ummm… thank you?

 

Dear 30 Days of Night (Dark Days)…

Why do you exist? Ugh. thank god the original cast ran away from you, because you were rank.

 

Dear Paranormal 3 (no spoilers),

You were stupid. I’m going to review you later. but first, I’m going to punch you.

 

Dear Children,

I don’t remember sanctioning the living room sleeping party last night. You must think you can get away with murder…

 

Dear giant pork butt roast,

You took 5 hours to cook. You better be delicious.

 

Dear Train,

what the fuck making me late and forced to walk the pee riddled streets to get to my back up bus stop. Jesus Danielle was NOT ON THE DAMN TRAIN, so the fact tha tyou stopped and searched the train TWICE for this person, putting us 10 minutes behind schedule really pisses me off. I don’t even know what the big ass deal was. Ugh.

 

Dear Period,

You haven’t arrived yet, but you’re being a little bitch about it. Cramping me up, making my back hurt. I hate your ass. there is no way I’m pregnant because the first sex I’ve had in almost a MONTH was Saturday night (and even then the act wasn’t finished by the appropriate fertilizing unit)… so just hurry up already.

 

Dear Money,

Why do I not have more of you? I could really use you righ tnow. I have PLANS!!!

 

Dear procrastination,

GET THE FUCK OUT. God.

 

Dear Breakfast Burrito,

I’m coming for you. You will be my deliciousness.

 

Dear Monday,

Yeah, I’m back. Shape up or ship out, whore.

 

Dear my peoples,

LOVE YOU *MUAH!*

 

Sincerly,

Me, who obviously couldn’t put together a paragraph this morning.

 

 

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        Humanity Scar   

 

 (A zombie apocalypse survival diary, for your reading pleasure and future knowledge when they take over the world. Yes, I am the author.)  

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October 31, 2011

dear you:happy halloween!

I love you!!

October 31, 2011

that would be a really awful fairy if it did do that. and I lol’d at your taunt to the breakfast burrito!

I think you are desensitized to horror movies though, so I’ll probably still like Paranormal Activity 3. I go into these things with no expectations though. Same with superpower movies, I just go in hoping there are some cool superpowers. So I’ll be easy to please when Avengers comes out. Mainly because the actor that played Thor is playing him again.. nom. Downtown LA sounds pretty disgusting.

skyrim looks awsome. i might get it. yeah that game ugh..just was horrible. awww u luvs me??? now i have to smile all day. i definately have to! love you to hun. your the best. smile sweetie. i’d hate to see a frown on the pretty face. things will get better. remember video games are fun. play one and everything will be awesome. much love darlin.

October 31, 2011

I am saddened by the suck turn the Paranormal Activity series is taking. Even though the first 2/3 of the first one was shit, the last 1/3 was exceptionally great. Number two was all suck. Not bothering with three. I hate having nookie with bad ending, too. I want to rant about Walking Dead. I hopr you don’t hate me for it..but I am sortof lovehating that series, too. May your period be merciful.

ryn: That makes sense, I’ve actually seen a lot of movies do the same thing. I try not to even watch the trailers for movies anymore because of it. I find trailers ruin comedies for the most part, they show every single good part. And for other movies they leave wondering why that particular clip was cut out. It’s just weird.

October 31, 2011

i LOVE your letters. yes yes yes yes yes. and congrats to roku catching a mouse AND being smart enough to leave it in the dirty laundry. pretty sure bianca would pick the clean clothes coz she likes those better. and pork roast! *drools*

October 31, 2011

Dear You! You are awesome! MUAH!

October 31, 2011

I got sex Friday night. Lol. Despite the sex you had Saturday night you wouldn’t’ve been able to conceive that fast to make you late anyway it would’ve had to of been a time longer then that. Yep. Your period is just being contrary. So you don’t have it yet. Yeah I thought it could go either way. Acknowledges the rest.