No Friends

I work a lot. I am working late tonight because I took a night off Friday. An author friend was coming in town for a book signing and we agreed to meet up for that. I have only met her once before but I like her and her husband a lot. We went out to a fancy crab dinner that I am writing to pay back the money to my account right now. I deserved it.

The signing was brief. I grabbed some stuff from the tables and spoke to a few people. I am not one to buy books from every author and have them signed. I don’t have that kind of money nor time to read. The one author I knew that was going to be there didn’t show up, so J and I headed up to her room and chatted for hours. We talked books, which I never do with anyone. I forgot how much I am into them and have some new reads thanks to her. We talked about anxiety since she suffers from it as well. We talked about everything and I realized that I am a little lonely sometimes.

I have a tribe here. We don’t see each other too much because my closets friend in the group has BPD as well and struggles a lot. I’m cool with that but we tell each other hello every now and then. There was a friend at the signing but she was networking and I was there with J. Since J traveled, she won. The other friend stresses me out anyway. She’s stressed as well and we kind of clash. I don’t know if she’s mad or not but I am not worried about it.

I have been writing my ass off since then, with breaks to take K out for things or sleep if I can’t keep my eyes open. This is a big story but it is also a great paycheck that I need. I am getting control of my life if it kills me. I am meeting a client tomorrow to discuss a speech that she wants me to write for her. She is a motivational speaker and into Reiki which could not be more perfect for me right now. She is also super sweet and it’s adult time for me. I am dropping K off at the mall with friends before I head over to the restaurant to meet her.