I had my appointment with the psychiatrist yesterday. I wish that I could switch her with my therapist since she is easier to talk to but we did get the situation with the meds handled. I am still taking the same ones and she added wellbutrin to the mix. I explained that I have been living in a crazy brain fog lately and just want to sleep all the time, but that isn’t very productive. This is supposed to give me energy and focus and I cannot wait for it to kick in.
I am tired of not living. Now that my MIL is in the clear with cancer, I hope that things calm down a bit. The other situation in my house is that my husband has not worked for the last six years. It’s legit. He fell at work and jacked up his back badly and has been at home since. It’s hard because he wants to provide for the family but his job kept him away from the house so much. He didn’t get a lot of time with K when she was just a tot and I was tired from doing the single mom thing. I suppose with his injury and the fact that SS disability is screwing around so much still makes me a single mom. I am supporting us through this financially and in that, I get to be a paid writer. It’s my dream job and I am blessed to have a second job from home where I can keep an eye on things while I have the office job with the benefits and such. That’s the adult thing to do and the writing is more personal. It’s for me and helps me get stuff out while earning some okay money doing so.
I don’t always love it. Sometimes, I hate it. Sometimes, I resent it but I always think that I am lucky. I think that life happens or a reason. I think that you accept the things that happen and work with it. I need more balance in my life and I am working on that, but I am lucky. I just have to remind myself of that sometimes.