Someone

As sit here trying to even think of what to call this chapter of my life, I find it hard to breathe. Not because something is medically wrong, but because as I try to next take the next forward I feel like I am hitting a brick wall. I know everyone moves on at different rates, but it’s been a month since he left. I want to find love. Even though it’s been just a month it feels like forever since I had the happiness I deserve. The loving home to be happy to come home to. I’m scared though. I have three boys looking at me to hold everything together. When will I even find the time to date, because I won’t introduce anyone to my kids right away. Am I allowed to ask someone to watch them just so I can go on a date? Even though he walked away a month ago he was long gone before that, so will someone think a month is too soon? I know there has to be decent guys out there still right: someone has to want a single mom of three young boys. They are only 4,2 and 4 months. That’s a lot of baggage to take on.

The funny thing is I am such a hopeless romantic and wait for the meet cute. I want the fairy tale romance, while the world I seems to want to consume my hope of it ever happening.