A confusing answer to a simple question

Ha ha so anyway, I don’t know why but maybe because I still want a summer romance, I am still trying to organize dates with cuties. I have a date coming up next week with the Buddhist so like, there’s still hope for me! But anyway, Burlesque Girl and I have continued to be in contact on OKC. She kind of disappeared for a while and I felt rejected but then I messaged again and we messaged back and forth and she seemed into it. Anyway, I finally asked her on a date, it was so vague, I’m not on my game. She kind of threw me back when she said she didn’t like the beach. Ha ha anyway! I asked if she would want to do something in a couple weeks when I’m a little more mobile (and also tbh back from Vancouver) and she sent me this really confusing message. She was like, seeing someone, but it’s new and it’s open (as in she can date other people), she has met some good people and not great people on OKC, she’s become fast friends with a few. She said she was mostly out of town this next while and also fucked (and yeah her instagram seems to indicate she’s depressed right now). So I was like ummmm is that a yes or a no or a maybe? I was at bingo with my friends and I was trying to work it out when I got the message, one of my friends said it sounds like it’s still on the table. So I ended up sending back a no pressure message that I would still like to go on a date or hang out as maybe friends in the not to distant future and she could get back to me if she wanted. So who knows?

My friend Ricky said I was at least moving forward on this crush on her, way more than in the spring when she was just this babe I saw do a burlesque number. Like, yeah, we have contact, that’s nice. She seems to know my name. I feel like I’m not presenting my best self to her though, I am not really a showy person. Like, I guess my stuff is in my OKC profile, and the Instagram she follows. She can see me doing things. I feel kind of guilty that, besides Jessie obviously, she’s still the one I would want to make out with the most, even more than the Buddhist. I dunno. Also I know this person who wanted to date me is probably disappointed that I am going on dates with other people now, and not them.

Anyway, I finally went out of the house today, which was super nice. The doctor in the morning, she said I gotta wear this boot for six to eight weeks. Bummer. Went to the pharmacy for T3’s and Naproxen. I got rides from my friend to do all this stuff. That was nice. Tomorrow I need to get a squash and a clove of garlic so I can make stew for my friend who is terribly ill. I’m trying to do a pork apple stew, but she can’t have anything spicy except for garlic, so it’s gonna be a very pared down garlicy stew. OH SHIT I better take the pork outta the freezer. DONE!

Anyway! I’m super curious how Burlesque Girl is gonna respond to my message. I feel really confused by if she is trying to tactfully let me down, or is just really confused herself. I dunno. Maybe she just wanted to give me a heads up that she is in a new open relationship in case I wouldn’t want to go on a date with her. But I really do want a monogs relationship, but also I think I just need to date and meet cuties and see how it goes anyway.

OMG tho, this damn foot. I don’t know how I am gonna have sex with a broken foot. It complicates things for sure. Anyway yeah…

Jessie is super sad because she had to put her cat down last Friday. I’ve been checking in with her, and she seems to like communicating with me about it, him, the kitty. It’s nice being able to listen to her. And she asks about my foot, which makes me feel good too because not everyone asks about it.

I still haven’t talked much to my friend who didn’t give a shit about my foot and kept making everything about herself. And she has yet to send me a message that is like “How is your foot doing?” Ugh. I don’t know how I’m gonna talk to her again when I know now how selfish she can be. FUCK!